Consent to take children to New Zealand

[missvee]

Thanks Dawn, yeah any help information people have on this is helpful. I am keeping my fingers crossed my ex won't be a moron as he knows my daughter wants to go. Keep your fingers crossed.
Missvee

[justNoZi]

hi,

sorry to hear about all these hassles. hope you all get things sorted out, life just isnt that easy sometimes tho. :(

anyways, i'm needing to star tlooking at this. my girlfriend is going to be i nthe same boat ( one reason why she is till in UK, blah blah blah ). But hey, she is coming over soon for a holiday and bringing her wee girl. i cant wait to see them, been sa few months and constantly talking on fone just aint the same.

well, she is now having to speak to her wee girls dad and grandparents and yep, its becoming a wee bit of a touchy subject - i knew it would be but she was on fone crying today and it is stressing her out.

i need to help her as much as possible, so i'll be looking at this post hoping it goes well for you'se and trying to find out lots of info for her.

i actally plan to contact NZIS this week and ask about any issues etc and best way of trying to get her over here visa wise. but looking at this post then that might actually be the easy part eh!!

good luck everybody, hope things get sorted.

[missvee]

;D Got the Statutory Declaration signed at last, what a pantomine.
To JustNoZi when you say wee girl, I take it she is quite young and does the ex partner have Parental Resposibility or were they married?
She could try sitting down with him and having an adult conversation, I know its hard when you can't stand the person and they are being unreasonable. I know, I have just been there.
If he says no, then she may have to go and get advice from a solicitor and may have to consider court action and this won't be cheap. She isn't necessarily going to win unless she can show the court that you both will be able to care and support her in New Zealand. Jobs, home, school, money, that kind of thing.
That's as much advice as I can offer at the moment.
I don't know how you go about it if she is coming on like a visitors visa or working visa, I think Glenda knows more about that.
Goodluck
Missvee

[Dawn]

In my ex-husbands case, he isn't opposed to the idea, well he is, he has actually told my daughter that if she goes she will cause the break up of his marriage!! But he knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on legally, but extraveniously he is saying that he won't prevent them from doing something they want to do.
My solicitor once told me that for a parent to have joint custody that means that everything is split 50/50? i.e. has the kids to sleep and share the household for half of the week, they have their own room and own possessions there, they pay for half of everything that the child needs or uses. My ex sees the kids once a fortnight, contributes very little financially, takes them on holiday for 4 days a year and tells them they should never bring their problems with them to his house. Is this shared custody? I do all of the parenting, all of the work, all of the spending, all of the listening, all of the putting things right when they come back from being at his, all of the explaining. all of the apologising for who he is and where he comes from.
He has accused me of not giving him enough info about where I am taking his children, I accuse him of not ever listening once when I have tried to explain to him how they feel. I have offered mediation as an alternative, he says that mediation is for psychos who are f'*&!'ed up!
Justnozi tell your partner to trust her gut instincts and to do what she thinks is right. As long as she explains to the kids what is going on and is completely honest with them they'll be cool.
Don't you just hate it when this shit happens? I really thought we'd never have to put our kids through this crap :(

[missvee]

You and I both know Dawn, that at the end of the day the kids are going to have a better quality of life and kids adapt so much quicker than us.
Funnily enough my ex has been amenable, this is highly unusual. I think it has to do with his girlfriend, who he has fallen out with. He hasn't questioned everything or given me the third degree. She sticks her nose in. When did she go through 24 hours of labour to push a 9lb 10oz melon through something the size of a lemon, sorry guys. :o She actually said, 'WE are not signing anything, until WE have seen the paperwork,' Don't ask how I didn't tear her head off her shoulders.

I feel for anyone who has to go through this bit, it's so stressful. As some of the people on here show us, it is so worth it at the end.
Missvee

[justNoZi]

hi,

well done missvee - is that a weight off the mind then.

thanks for the advice, yes she is pre-school and i know its hoping for alot but i'm do hope it doesnt get to that solicitors situation. i can see her dads and dads family point of view but i hope it doesnt get nasty and such.

here's hoping eh.

ta again, and glad you are getting things sorted.

[missvee]

Hi, the declaration is in the hands of immigration now, the hard work is done. I hope you don't have too many problems getting them both over there with you.
I wish you the best of luck.
Vee

[Bermy Girl]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this site, but I have found it very informative and amusing as well. I too am in the same situation. I am divorced and have sole custody, my ex does have visitation rights, which he doesn't use and does not pay a dime in child support. However, he will not speak to me or answer any of my letters, so I guess I am going to have to head for court again! I live in Bermuda, so we have most of the same laws as Britain. I just wish I didn't have to go through court again, he hasn't seen his son or paid any child support since September 2005...never made an attempt...and our son is about to turn two in July. So I completely understand this dilemma and it makes me so angry that I have to go through the expense of lawyers and court because he's too immature to respond or care what's best for his son! Good Luck to all in this situation!

Cheers :rolleyes: