Banjo Jon - have you done the deed???

[zummerzet_lou]

thanks for you input MotherBear ...

I will tell her. I really want to tell her ASAP as don't like her not knowing and then not having enough time to get used to the idea before we disappear. Just wish I didn't lose my tongue with her and unable to voice my opinions (on anything, not just this imminent move).

I just know what she's going to say .... "after WE made her move near us we're leaving her" .. "how she won't be able to afford to visit us" ... not to mention the arguments regarding never being to NZ before, so how can we possibly decide to emigrate there.

[Banjo.Jon]

Is it possible to divorce parents?

Lu's Mum is the opposite to my parents who are supportive and basically just said "do what you want and what you think is best for you and the kids". Not sure thinking about it, if that is supportive or just not giving a sh!t. Lu's father was of a similar opinion.

Telling her is going to open up a whole nightmare that neither of us really want to go through as it will spoil the whole excitement and planning of our move to NZ. It's quite literally the only downside to the move, which to be honest, drives me mad. It would just be nice for once, if we did something that she approved off and actually supported us.

I vote for divorcing horrible nagging current Mother-in-Law and adopting MotherBear as my new Mother-in-Law

[Welshgirl]

Originally Posted by Banjo.Jon

I vote for divorcing horrible nagging current Mother-in-Law and adopting MotherBear as my new Mother-in-Law

You'll have to ask me first, she is my MIL

N.B. I can be bought....

[Banjo.Jon]

I'll do you a swap

[Welshgirl]

Cool - I'm already in NZ so I'll never have to tell her I'm leaving cos I'm already gone - sorted

[Banjo.Jon]

result, problem solved.

[MotherBear]

Originally Posted by zummerzet_lou

Just wish I didn't lose my tongue with her and unable to voice my opinions (on anything, not just this imminent move).

I just know what she's going to say .... "after WE made her move near us we're leaving her" .

I know exactly what you mean Lou. I was like that with my mother and it was really getting to me. One day I just snapped as she'd pushed me too far and I finally found the nerve to answer her back. She did look stunned, I must admit, but it was very therapeutic for me. I think my pent up anger towards her bullying tactics eventually broke the spell and I thought 'Why should I continually put up with this?'

I remember her verbally pulling my appearance to bits in a checkout queue in Sainsbury's one day, telling me I laughed like a horse and this was wrong with me and that was wrong with me. A girl in front of us was listening to all this with her mouth gaping open. I didn't want to make a scene so I just said, 'Well it was you that created me like this so some of it must be down to you'. Her mouth snapped shut and that was the end of the subject. It's just bullying and, like most bullies, when you face up to them, they can't handle it and back down. While you continue to put up with it, they'll continue to do it.

I had the same thing about moving nearer, only it was me that had moved nearer to her. She'd found a convenient house not far from her so I'd be more handy if she needed me.

Originally Posted by BanjoJon

Is it possible to divorce parents?

Yes, it is. Know a good solicitor? I don't mind being your MIL as well, Jon. I've got enough mother-in-lawliness to round. I've been adopted as a mother and a grandmother on here before now, so why not a MIL as well?

P.S. My birthday is in September and don't forget the Christmas card either. We might as well make it legal.

[zummerzet_lou]

MotherBear .. if you are now Jons MIL, does that mean you're now my Mum?

[MotherBear]

Er.....sounds like it, Lou. But not to worry, you can tell me any time that you're going to NZ and it won't phase me. In fact I'll even come to the airport to wave you off.....or, at least I would if I was in the UK.

If you need to practise your 'Mum, we're off to NZ so take it or leave it' speech at any time, I'll make myself available (as long as I'm not in bed at the time ).
Now that you have a new mum, what are we going to do with your spare one, eh?

[Banjo.Jon]

The "DEED" has just been done on the phone. Decided it was now or never. Lu was met with a very frosty reception, was accused of abandoning her after she moved down to be near us and then she went all quiet which was kind of the end of the phone call. I think the backlash from all this will occur over the next few months, but at least it is all out in the open.