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Thread: Just over 3 years

  1. #1
    Lonely is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009

    Unhappy Just over 3 years

    Hi All

    Just thought I would post my feelings so if I go on and it bores you please pass.

    I have been here for just over 3 years now, We put everything in to making our DREAM come real but I am sad to say sometimes dreams turn in to nightmares and I have been in my nightmare for a long time now.

    So after meeting with someone on here they made me see sense and think about things and to go for the negatives and the positives which I have done,

    So glad to have found this forum as it saved me as I was belive it or not ready to jump in the river, I have never been so sad and lonely in all my life.

    Belive me one out weighs the other by a mile so I will now be making the plan to put things right and run back home. Its hard when you spend so much time effort and heart ache to get here then spend to make a new life for it all to go so wrong.

    I so regret buying a house so quickley Brand New lasted lasted just over a year there because coming from some where that is used to bricks and plaster walls I was blown away after a week of moving in and taped the walls god wish did that first it must have had so little sound proof it was not funny, So we sold that and brought a older property more money and needed doing up but we were up too that.

    So whilst all that was going on not much time to think about other things so I guess what I am saying is when you have things to keep you going you do not really stop and think. Must have still been on a high but when we came down was such a shock its like I am grieving. Such a mind blowing feeling and so hard to describe.

    Then to top it all went to the Doctors because my emotions were all over the place and could not work out what it was only to be told BLOODY MENOPAUSE bugger but a least I knew why I had given my poor hubby nightmares it must have been hell for him Good job he loves me.

    But the hardest part for me is leaving family and true friends you can count on. I cried buckets when we left as everyone does and I thought it would get easier but let me tell you it is getting harder and harder as the time goes on so I now know we need to do this.

    I have spent many a week crying and covering up because Hubby was happy and did not know how to tell him but in the end I had no choice as it was destroying me and he deserves better than that. After all we are a partnership and a good one at that.

    Also kept it away from family back home because how do you tell them when you have convinced them to give there blessing in the first place. But have told them and explained that we will come back but it will be at the cost of their inheritance and do you know what they said they do not care just want us to be happy and with them so we will save hard sell up take a gamble and go and rent we will never get on the property ladder again but to be honest I really do not care I want to enjoy my life so I will keep you all posted as to when and maybe tell a little more.


  2. #2
    MotherBear's Avatar
    MotherBear is offline The missing link
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    currently Ras al Khaimah, UAE, ex Wales, UK
    Blog Entries


    An honest post, Lonely. We need these every now and then to help keep our feet on the ground and to encourage us to think very closely about what we are leaving behind. NZ is a long way to go only to find out that you still feel very strongly about what you've left behind.

    I hope that having something positive to look forward to now will help to make you stronger and move on with your life. When you get to shift back to the UK it would be very interesting to hear how you get on, as things may well have changed a lot since you left.

    Good luck.
    Mother Bear

    Try to bloom wherever you are planted.

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