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Thread: Made friends after migration?

  1. #1
    jive is offline Junior Member
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    Default Made friends after migration?

    Almost all immigrants will have this thinking and worry in their mind while migrating and even after migrating-how to make friends in the new country?

    We thrive for survival here initially,hunt jobs,submit application for visa, find a good suburb, rent a house, buy a car and apply for internet connection etc.
    We explore the area and get amazed with NZ's reserves and beaches.

    But what happens after that?
    Of course we make some online friends and 'hi-bye' friends in workplace,gym or malls.
    But do we ever worry that we do not have real close friends for us to hang out ,to have get together with family, to help us in any emergency etc?
    Few immigrants would be lucky enough to have some friends or relatives already settled here to enjoy all these.
    But what about the rest of us?

    Colleagues, Neighbors and Church might not be ideal place for getting good friends for few.
    Work environment has people from all ethnicity like south africans, Fiji Indians,Chinese,Koreans,British, Kiwis etc. This could be taking a while for us to adjust and connect to.

    Most of us are atheists now or rarely go to church/temple and hence religious events can rarely connect us.
    Getting a good neighbor happens once in a blue moon for many of us.

    So how do we cope up with this and make real close friends in the suburb we settle?
    And did anyone experience a good friendship in their area after migrating here?

    Cheers!

  2. #2
    kiaora!! is offline Senior Member
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    Default

    Hi Jive!

    I have been here for just over a year now..
    making the move from germany to nz was easy for me, as I knew what it would all be about, having moved to oz for 4years just before that...

    I am lucky as my partner is a kiwi and we have his family and friends here, but it is not the same sharing friends and having your own...

    I went to college ( evening classes and my classmates were aged between 16 to 65) for 9months straight after I got here and have made really close friends there, all of them are kiwis and all of them were really keen to make friends too!
    I have a few friends who are immigrants themselves but most of them are kiwis and it was easy for me to make those friendships.
    They are not just the how are you goodbye friendships either, we meet up alot with my partner and their families as well and I have to say it is fantastic! I found making friends here easier than in Sydney.
    I guess my job forces me to meet alot of people as well and I build up very close relationships and alot of my clients end up being my friends too...

    All up these are my thoughts having been in 2 different places which were both known to be hard to make friends and having lived completely different lives in both places.

    You have to put yourself out there and put effort and time into people, most kiwis stick to their families and close friends simply because they don't have the time but there are a hell of alot of kiwis out there really needing some company and the ones I have met were absolutely stoked that I put an effort into catching up.

    I think we should think about this:
    When we were in our home countries, how many of our friends were immigrants? I doubt that indians moving to the uk find it easy making friends with the english and turkish find it hard to make friends with the germans..

    I wish all of you good luck finding and making friends and remember once you have made friends, whether they are immigrants themselves or kiwis, you will most certainly have them for life!
    WHV submitted 20/11/07 approved 15/01/08
    arrived in Auckland 23/03/08
    Work permit under partnership submitted 21/05/08 APPROVED 29/05/08
    Work permit extension under partnership submitted 06/03/09 APPROVED 23/03/09 Expires 23/03/10
    Residence permit under partnership submitted 06/03/09
    Immigration Officer assigned 30/04/09
    Residence Permit APPROVED 29/06/09
    Our Baby Boy is due 01/04/10 "whoopwhoop"

  3. #3
    MotherBear's Avatar
    MotherBear is offline The missing link
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    One good way of making friends is to join clubs or groups linked to your hobbies or interests. That way you start off with something in common which is a good basis for any friendship.
    Mother Bear

    Try to bloom wherever you are planted.

  4. #4
    DizzyF is offline Member
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    I have a toddler and have made friends with other Mum's through toddler groups. I find that Kiwis make more of an effort to keep in touch and are generally welcoming and happy to offer help for settling in. My OH works with a mix of people...mainly Brits and Kiwis...and has the odd night out with them but they live all over Auckland so more difficult to keep in touch out of work hours.
    I miss my family in the UK but have been lucky to meet Kiwis who have lived overseas so understand if you are a bit homesick. Also, I don't find Kiwis to be very different to Brits so you don't feel out of place or foreign.

  5. #5
    TanyaJ is offline Member
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    I'm having the same problem. I've been here a year now and am finding the people I meet already have very "full" lives and no time for new friends.

    Its disheartening.

    I work long hours and spend all my free time with my 2 year old which doesnt leave me time to join classes/hobby groups. I've tried connecting with other moms but all I've met have been stay-at-home mums who meet during the week. Its slowly reaching the point where I'll consider leaving NZ just because I am lonely.

  6. #6
    paul_dickson78 is offline Junior Member
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    I've always found actions speak louder than words and so this is for anyone on here who not just wants but needs to start meeting people. I will be in Circus Circus in Mt Eden Village this Sunday at midday having a coffee and reading the Sunday paper, if any of you would like to join me, even just for half an hour, then here is your opportunity to meet someone new and start to rebuild that group of friends we all need...oh and apologies if you're not in Auckland, but just one person do the same thing in your city and invite people for a coffee and a chat. At the end of the day we've all decided to make the move and made the promise that life would be better because of it, you've done the hard part, now start enjoying it

  7. #7
    MotherBear's Avatar
    MotherBear is offline The missing link
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    Great and positive thinking, Paul . Good to see someone doing something instead of just thinking about it. Hope you get a few takers as you've probably got a lot to share with each other. Let us know how it goes.
    Mother Bear

    Try to bloom wherever you are planted.

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