9 months here - our list of likes n dont-likes

[Dawn]

Originally Posted by KiwiHopeful

I've also heard that dryer sheets (like Bounce ... if you have that in the UK or NZ) repel bugs, but I've never been brave enough to walk around (knowingly, at least) with one sticking out my shirt pocket!

This is nothing to do with anything but the above just reminded me of something that happened to a friend of mine. He was rushing around very very very late one morning and couldn't find the clothes he wanted so he grabbed the pair of combats that were half hanging out of the washing basket, pulled them on and ran straight out to work. On the way he stopped at the shop to pick up a paper and was asked by a passer by why he had a pair of womens knickers stuck on his leg. A pair of his partners pants from the washing basket had attached themselves to the velcro bit of the pocket!!! Lol

Just wanted to share. It made me laugh, he would have been terribly embarrassed.

[ShellBda]

Hi Dawn,

Sounds like something that would happen to me! lol These days, being a new single mom, I have to pat myself down when I leave the house each morning to make sure that I am fully clothed and haven't forgotten something; like my clothes!!! One day I made it as far as the car before I realized I still had my fluffy blue slippers on! I have lost 2 pairs of prescription glasses in the past 8 months and have just had to order a new pair. And everyone thinks I have got it all together.

[Dawn]

Originally Posted by ShellBda

And everyone thinks I have got it all together.

It's amazing how often people think that isn't it? I was on my own with Lauren and Charlie for a time when they were small. It's like the old comparison isn't it of the duck - looking all graceful and calm floating on the water and kicking and flapping like hell underneath!

[MotherBear]

Originally Posted by ShellBda

Hi Dawn,

Sounds like something that would happen to me! lol These days, being a new single mom, I have to pat myself down when I leave the house each morning to make sure that I am fully clothed and haven't forgotten something; like my clothes!!! One day I made it as far as the car before I realized I still had my fluffy blue slippers on! I have lost 2 pairs of prescription glasses in the past 8 months and have just had to order a new pair. And everyone thinks I have got it all together.

Just wait until you're my age ] . Forgetfullness becomes a way of life. When remembering something it used to be 'Ummm, ummm, it's on the edge of my tongue. It'll come back to me in a minute'. Now the edge of my tongue doesn't come into it, there's just a gaping hole where my memory used to be. Such fun.

[missvee]

Think I agree with quite a lot of what you said on there. The one about the shops not open till late. I don't find that a problem anymore. I did, I went into town to do shopping and the shops shut at 2pm on Saturday afternoon, how bizarre. I asked one of my colleagues why they did this, she responded, "coz we wanna life." She was right. Friday and Saturday afternoon everone is off to the beach, the bach or the ski slopes. the fresh local produce is bloody good and a lot of my colleagues bring in veggies and fruit from their garden because they have too much.
I have only been here since April but my list is similar to Nick and Jacky's. The houses are bigger, the rooms are spacious but lack of double glazing and central heating is a pain. i am lucky as I live facing the sea so I get the sun all day. It warms the flat up. Not so good last couple of days as we have had the bad weather experienced in Oz.
I have to say I am not very keen on the white tailed spider, only coz I got bitten by one. Nasty!
My daughter has settled into school very well. Says it is way better than her UK school. There is more positive reinforcement from teachers. She has more of a social life than me.
Public transport is not very good. I have my best friends daughter with me so she has to use it. The bus driver knows her well and they have a good chat on the journey.
That is it for now and sorry I haven't been on for awhile, my fella has been over here and I am also working shifts and have to fight with my daughter for the laptop. I have noticed I have been demoted Taffy
Vee

[ShellBda]

Originally Posted by Dawn

It's like the old comparison isn't it of the duck - looking all graceful and calm floating on the water and kicking and flapping like hell underneath!

Dawn, great comparison but couldn't we change it to a swan? Would prefer to be compared to a swan rather than a duck :

P.S. Has this thread been hijacked as well? Sorry

[Dawn]

Originally Posted by ShellBda

Dawn, great comparison but couldn't we change it to a swan? Would prefer to be compared to a swan rather than a duck :

Shell, course you can change it to a swan you can change it to whatever you like but I'm good with the duck.

[MotherBear]

Originally Posted by GordonUK

On a personal note, I found her distaste for what appeared to be a lack of 'health and saftey' considerations refreshing. I find the removal of personal 'risk assessing' by the almost obsessive imposition of 'safety' rather worrying. As children, we learned what was safe and dangerous through experimentation and very few of us seemed to perish in the process. The lessons we learned about things that hurt, things that scared us and things that could have been a lot worse still stuck with us and have kept us safe since then.

Bringing us back to this subject.....

'Bubble-wrapped' kids denied vital development
By GRANT MILLAR - Manawatu Standard | Thursday, 21 June 2007

Middle-class parents can be so paranoid about the safety of their children that may be stunting the risk-taker's advantage, says visiting Canadian Professor Michael Ungar.

"Kids need to be exposed to some challenges," he says.

Being overly protective denies children identity-boosting rites of passage.

"Bubble-wrapping" children by driving them to school, for example, may deny them opportunities to show how grown up and responsible they are, he says.

Prof Ungar, from Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, and author of Too Safe For Their Own Good, is helping design the New Zealand component of an international study aiming to pinpoint effective ways to help the most troubled youth.

Massey University researchers Robyn Munford and Jackie Sanders are also involved.

Prof Ungar notes that some children are raised in extremely adverse circumstances, but come out of it all right. He is leading international research into what makes them resilient.

Prof Ungar says young people cope better if they have relationships with other people, a sense of themselves as powerful, a culture to identify with and if they feel part of the community. However, many of them think they find what they're looking for in gangs.

"Our job as a society is to offer good substitutes," says Prof Ungar.

He says troubled young people are able to articulate why they make harmful choices.

Prof Munford says young people often take risks, but it becomes a significant problem when those risks define who they are.

Dr Sanders says young people want to know who will back them.

Prof Munford expects young people themselves will provide pointers to solutions and identify which services and interventions are the most useful.

The Manawatu Standard put it to Prof Munford that Child Youth and Family is intervening more than ever in families, and questioned whether the nation could see improvement as a result. She declined to single out individual agencies.

However, according to a Massey University press release in which she is quoted, the number of children and youth referred by police to CYF is expected to reach 10,500 this year, resulting in about 7600 family group conferences and 180 detentions in youth justice facilities.

Prof Munford says too many young people are marginalised and New Zealand needs to work more effectively with the "hard core" of its troubled young people.

Dr Sanders says intervening reduces both costs and the damage troubled young people inflict upon themselves and others.

All three steer away from "bad parenting" and linking anti-social behaviour with lack of discipline. Dr Sanders suggests parents who quickly resort to physical punishment may later regret their failure to build real communication.

From here .

[missvee]

I tried to post a reply in answer to Nick and Jackys post and it ended up about 6 replys along, way out of sinc. Something weird happening here Taffy? I have been demoted too

I know I don't come on here as often, actually thought I would give you all a rest
Vee

[Dawn]

Originally Posted by missvee

I know I don't come on here as often, actually thought I would give you all a rest
Vee

We miss you Vee!! Welcome back!!

I have a really spiritual explanation to this one but I really don't want you sending the authorities round to collect me so I won't go there. BUT, suffice to say these kids are here for a reason and we're not listening. We're trying to fit them into a system that they don't fit into and then blaming them when they won't change instead of asking ourselves if it's us that should be making the changes (and it is).

If we prevent kids from taking risks we tell them we don't trust them. We tell them as far as we're concerned they're not capable of making choices for themselves or taking care of themselves. We reinforce their feelings of not being good enough, not doing well enough, not being anything. I know that as parents we think we have their best interests at heart but if we were to really think about it maybe it's ourselves we're trying to protect. Whether or not we allow them to take risks they'll take them anyway. They'll just take bigger risks in more dangerous situations because they feel the only way to prove themselves is to take a BIG risk. By trying to hold our kids close, we're pushing them away.

These kids know who they are, they know what they can do and believe me they are capable of a lot more than we give them credit for. We should trust that they know about themselves than we do and support them as they continue to learn with love and advice when they ask for it. When we spout off about what's best for them I'm pretty sure it's only because we like the sound of our own voices, are we really speaking for their benefit? We should learn to keep quiet and listen more.

Just my opinion.

Anyone heard about the Indigo Children?