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Thread: Not quite so blokey after all

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    MotherBear's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Not quite so blokey after all

    Blokes learn to ask for help
    5:00AM Saturday April 21, 2007
    By Stuart Dye

    Menstalk billboards advertise what has traditionally been a low-visibility service in men's health.

    The Kiwi male's "take it like a man" attitude is being consigned to the rubbish heap if the sharp increase in numbers asking counselling services for help is any indication.

    For 42 years, about two-thirds of callers to Lifeline were women but the past six months has seen men make up half those seeking help for problems ranging from relationship breakdowns to depression.

    And another private Auckland counselling service has seen the number of men calling its helpline double in a year.

    Credit for at least part of such a shift in attitude is being given to former All Black John Kirwan, who began fronting a Government depression awareness campaign last October.

    But people involved in men's health also say society's thinking is changing, allowing men to open up and ask for help.

    Lifeline chief executive Bryan Wilshire said four times more men than women in the 40-60 age group were making calls.

    More here .
    Mother Bear

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    Debd's Avatar
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    That's definitely a good thing!
    I know a guy who is always searching for answers by use of clairvoyancy, tarot etc... maybe a counsellor would be a good start!
    New Zealand can be quite a difficult country to survive in financially for a man, (or anyone for that matter), but most men do want to provide for their families so anxiety, lack of certain opportunities here and depression do inevitably happen quite frequently.
    Another Kiwi guy here has often said how hard it is to find a woman here too, (he's previously lived in the UK for a few years), but finds it more difficult here as a single man in his late 20's. That's another story....

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    MotherBear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Debd View Post
    Another Kiwi guy here has often said how hard it is to find a woman here too, (he's previously lived in the UK for a few years), but finds it more difficult here as a single man in his late 20's. .
    Oh that's strange . I know I've posted a couple of news articles in the past that proclaim a severe man drought in NZ. There just aren't enough men to go round, apparently. He should be in with a good chance. Perhaps he's just not looking in the right place.
    Mother Bear

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    Unfortunately, mental illness is an increasing inevitability in todays social climate no matter where you live. Feelings of personal worth, value and happiness seem to be linked more and more to material or financial gain and measuring oneself by what other people appear to have means an ever decreasing circle. The media has a lot to answer for I think, TV programmes and movies, papers and magazines, billion dollar advertising campaigns......it's subliminally relentless. You can end up feeling that everyone in the world has everything that they want except you, feelings of failure are very definitely a catalyst for mental illness.

    I have worked in counselling myself, I have friends who are psychiatrists and psychotherapists, they're busier than ever and they see as many men as women. I know I'm probably just being a hippie again but I think we'd all do well to take some time to get to know ourselves better and to learn to really love ourselves so that we can be comfortable being alone most importantly when we're with others. If one is happy in one's own skin one shouldn't feel the need to boost one's worth by surrounding oneself with material goods. It's an outward show that we internalise and it's not healthy.

    We just need to get back to basics. IMHO
    Passionate about the unfathomableness opportunities of kiwi-a-gogo-land

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    Debd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MotherBear View Post
    Oh that's strange . I know I've posted a couple of news articles in the past that proclaim a severe man drought in NZ. There just aren't enough men to go round, apparently. He should be in with a good chance. Perhaps he's just not looking in the right place.
    I know, that's what [I]I [I] thought!! He said that NZ women are quite 'strong, fussy and scary'.... he wasn't joking!
    I personally find the women here as quite strong minded with character, which I like. Basically my friend was saying that he feels quite intimidated by alot of Kiwi women because he felt that they looked down on men!! Poor thing. It's obviously his own personal opinion.
    I've been quite surprised by the popular internet dating thing going on here. It's really the acceptable way of dating and there are some fab looking people on there, ha!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Debd View Post
    I've been quite surprised by the popular internet dating thing going on here. It's really the acceptable way of dating and there are some fab looking people on there, ha!!
    Deb, you shouldn't be looking! You're alreay set up - what you like! Poor Eddie, he'll be thinking you're gonna trade him in :rolleyes: Errr ......I assume it's the men you mean?
    Passionate about the unfathomableness opportunities of kiwi-a-gogo-land

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    Ha ha Dawn! I'm only human, I know an attractive face when I see one, male or female! (Don't go reading too far into that now!)

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