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Thread: OKay .. so not great?

  1. #1
    Canuck is offline Junior Member
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    Default OKay .. so not great?

    I was all happy, thinking about our start to move to NZ, and I come home from work only to find my husband upset because now he's found Expat Exposed: Behind the Hype in New Zealand and it says basically that NZ is horrible. How much truth is there in these posts?

    I have this feeling we won't be coming anytime soon now. Giving up everything here to be "trapped" and need an "exit plan" doesn't sound like fun to me.

    Thoughts?

  2. #2
    MotherBear's Avatar
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    Aaah, yes . We've had very negative feedback regarding that forum previously. It seems to attract only those for whom things aren't going well and who have grievances to air, particularly Americans. Things aren't particularly good anywhere at the moment with the recession, but I don't believe it's any worse in NZ than other places. If I were your husband, I think I'd stay well away from Expat Exposed and only read the other forums that are available, otherwise he really will only see the downside of NZ whereas there is always an upside . If NZ is so bad why are thousands of people clammering to get in each year? And why are so many saying they are very happy here? If someone goes looking for bad news, they'll surely find it. Better to do plenty of research and make your own mind up . You probably won't find a forum that only concentrates on the great things about NZ because people who are happy here are too busy enjoying life to post on forums. Not everything is wonderful here, but is it wonderful all the time in any other country in the world?

    Hope you can manage to swing your husband back to coming again.
    Mother Bear

    Try to bloom wherever you are planted.

  3. #3
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    Jof
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    Hello,

    All places have their good and their bad points. In general if anyone is saying that a place is perfect or a place is absolutely terrible, then they're probably not painting a very accurate picture.

    Before you take much notice of why people are communicating a particular point of view, you need to understand why they are doing it in the first place.

    I had the same negative feelings when I browsed that website and I also questioned if I was making the right decision to move based on what I read there. After getting a feel for some of the issues, I decided not to read it anymore.

    Truth is, you get crime everywhere and there is always someone that will rip off a tourist or discriminate against an immigrant no matter what country you are in. There are bad landlords and seedy rental properties in every country. If you look at the numbers, those people are in a minority and they create a much bigger negative impression than they deserve.

    I think there might also be a clash between the Kiwi and the American personality, (though I am less qualified to comment on that, being neither Kiwi or American). People from both countries have a reputation for having very definite opinions regarding how their country of birth is the best in the world and that their ways are the best ways. Same thing is often said about the British, though I think this is a historical hangover, as I've seen many more British saying the opposite lately.

    All these are stereotypes anyway, there aren't any qualities that are true of a whole people or a whole country.

    Jof

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    Canuck is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks.. I am very upset today and don't know what to do. My husband is fully believing the website saying that we can't go there anymore.. I don't know how to change his mind. I want to teach, and they seem to need teachers there.. I don't believe the site is 100% accurate as I have never seen such negativity on any other sites about NZ ..

    I agree with what you're saying - no country can be completely horrible or perfect..

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    Maybe you first need to establish whether your husband is really looking for a way out of going to NZ and that forum has provided it as far as he is concerned. If so, you might have something else to deal with other than just his rose-tinted view of NZ being dashed. He needs to dig around a bit more to find a true balance if he genuinely does still want to come here, deep down in his heart. He mustn't give up so easily if it was a dream you both shared. If he has given up so easily, he may have difficulty settling anywhere else, too, as nowhere is perfect.

    Is there any way you could come to a compromise with your hubbie in that you go ahead with NZ immigration plans but prepare an escape plan if you later find out it's not what you want? Quite a few people have done this in the past, allowing themselves 2 years at least to acclimatise and see for themselves how it is. That means not completely cutting off your current life so you would have something to come back to if need be. After all, wouldn't it be really sad if you cancelled plans to come here and later on find out that NZ does, in fact, have a lot of good things to offer? Better to find out now than live a life wondering 'What if....'

    A few posts on the positives of living in NZ from folks already here would be useful. Come on guys, don't keep it to yourself!
    Mother Bear

    Try to bloom wherever you are planted.

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    Canuck is offline Junior Member
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    Definitely. I think what happened is he freaked because we haven't heard a single bad thing about NZ, and all of a sudden, here's this giant site that says "Don't come! You'll be trapped and poor and miserable!" .. which floored him because I'm about to send off a lot of money for my teacher registration. I want to go because they need teachers (so I hear) and where I am, we have thousands and no jobs. I've waited 4 years to get full time and it's not happening because of the sheer numbers and school closures.

    I just want a balanced opinion, and I don't think that forum gives it - which shocked him like a slap in the face. I've also jumped on a plane and lived in Japan for three years, where he hasn't. So I understand he's afraid, but he wants to go - I told him to give it a few more days and he did say it's "SUPPOSED" to be an adventure. :) I think we should go and try life there for at least 6 months, and if it's truly horrible, we can leave and come home to our families. It's helpful that we don't have a mortgage, car payments or kids.. ..

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    I'm guessing that you're a Canadian based on your name. Apologies if that's not the case. I've found through my experience that Canadians and Kiwis can be quite similar in a lot of respects. In my mind NZ is to Australia what Canada is to America. Both places seem to be a bit calmer, more laid back and friendly than their neighbours. Both also have a reputation for great scenery.

    Then there is the other side of the coin. Both Canada and NZ sometimes get accused of being a bit backward, a bit dull and slightly out of touch.

    All of it is personal perception. The US, the UK and Australia all have great scenery if you look for it and everyone's idea of dullness versus excitement is different. NZ is after all the home of bungee jumping.

    Jof

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    Canuck is offline Junior Member
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    Hi Jof, yes I am a Canadian. :) I have heard many times our mindset is similar to the Kiwi one, which is why we get along. This site was just so awful I couldn't believe what I was being told. In a nutshell it said:

    - Kiwis are racist.
    - Kiwis target and beat up a lot of foreigners.
    - You will end up broke and stuck there.
    - Don't come if you have asthma.
    - Don't come if you like culture.
    - Don't come if you like Internet usage.
    - You won't get hired because they only hire Kiwis.
    - Houses have frost inside them in winter, there is no heat.
    - You can't vacation anywhere, it's too expensive.
    - Food is too expensive, you won't afford it.


    Etc. I think you can think these things anywhere .. even where I'm living now!

    I hate negative people. I went to Japan on my own, having never been there before, and I stayed three years and didn't want to leave. I could have found tons of negative stuff but I focussed on the positive and had a great time.

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    I went to live in Liverpool UK in 1984, the year after the Toxteth riots and I went to live in Los Angeles US in 1995 which was the year after the South Central riots. When I went to Liverpool I was told that students were attacked and mugged, the city was full of unemployed drug addicts and that everything I had would be stolen. When I went to LA I was told that I would get killed in a drive by shooting, there were no sidewalks and that everyone in LA was crazy. For the first week in America I barely dared to go out of the apartment because of the things I had heard.

    Well for the record, I lived happily and without incident in Liverpool and I loved living in LA and didn't want to leave. ( They are crazy there though )

    Sure, you have to be prepared for things being different to how you expect and you have to have your wits about you sometimes, but in my experience most people are just like you and me - or nicer!

    The other think I've noticed is that people with a positive attitude seem to attract good fortune and pessimists seem to attract bad fortune. I'm guessing that the things that happen to them are exactly the same, but it's the way they handle it that's different.

    Truth is, good and bad things happen to everyone and it's unfair to blame a country or a people for random events or for things that you bring on yourself.

    Jof

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    - Kiwis are racist.
    Some can be but they are very much in the minority, often people living in the sticks who aren't used to mixing with other cultures and find them 'alien'. Australia has more of a racist problem. Personally, we find the kiwis one of the best people for friendliness and helpfulness. Just depends on how friendly you are to them. It's one of the main reasons we want to settle here.
    - Kiwis target and beat up a lot of foreigners.
    Really?? Although I won't say it's never happened, it's certainly not a big issue here. Again, Oz has more of a problem with this.
    - You will end up broke and stuck there.
    If you have done your homework thoroughly, have decent jobs and don't act stupid with your money, there's no real reason why this should happen. If there is a worry about being 'stuck here' the best thing to do is always keep an amount of money safely tucked away for a ticket home - call it your emergency fund. If both of you are going to be working, I'd hope things would be pretty good for you.
    - Don't come if you have asthma.
    I think this may come partly from the fact that some areas can be damp and cool in winter, which isn't particularly good for chests. If this could be a problem, it might be a good idea to research the areas that aren't low-lying and prone to fog. Choosing a good, dry house with some form of heating is also important as some houses can be damp and unhealthy. Newer houses have better insulation these days. An odd few people find they have quite a bit of illness for the first year or so and then they are fine once they have acclimatised. I often find my hair standing on end when I see lots of people out and about in the middle of winter with no shoes on, dressed in strappy tops and shorts. Waaaah! There's no need to go looking for illness.
    - Don't come if you like culture.
    Not sure about this one as I haven't gone looking for it, but I would think there is access to culture in the cities more than the small towns but, there again, there's always the Maori culture to immerse yourself into.
    - Don't come if you like Internet usage.
    Speaking as one who haunts the Net, I haven't had a problem so far, but perhaps I'm not demanding too much of the service. I get the impression from the media that NZ is continually looking to upgrade its Internet service.
    - You won't get hired because they only hire Kiwis.
    This has been a bit of a problem in the last year or so because hundreds of kiwis headed home due to losing their jobs overseas as the recession hit. I understand the outward flow is starting again as kiwis head back abroad to work. Things still aren't back to what they were previously, so researching jobs before you leave Canada might be a good idea.
    - Houses have frost inside them in winter, there is no heat.
    True in some cases but modern houses have to have good insulation now and choosing one with heating in will solve that problem. You don't have to live in a cold, damp house - the choice is yours .
    - You can't vacation anywhere, it's too expensive.
    Depends where you want to go. Oz and Tasmania are on the doorstep and Fiji, Samoa, Vanuatu etc. within a reasonable distance, not to mention the delights of Asia.
    - Food is too expensive, you won't afford it.
    My hubby is between jobs at the moment so we're very cost-conscious, but are managing to eat reasonably well by searching out the 'specials' in the supermarkets because you can save quite a bit this way. We came from the Middle East where the cost of living was very high and I believe it's not that great in the UK either, so NZ has been fine for us. Again, it depends what kind of foods you like, whether you would buy alcohol on top and also how high the cost of living is in Canada.
    Mother Bear

    Try to bloom wherever you are planted.

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