Stumbling Block

[Dawn]

Well, immigration have decided to throw a spanner in the works

For those of you who don't know our circumstances, our two oldest children, Lauren, 17, and Charlie, 12, are from my first marriage. I am divorced from their father who resides in the UK. Immigration procedure requires that if you are immigrating with children under the age of 16 from past relationships, you must have the permission of both natural parents to remove them from their country of birth. You must present a Statutory Declaration from the other parent stating that they give their full consent for the child to go and live in another country. It has to be signed and witnessed by a solicitor.

We did this, and an arduous and unpleasant task it was too because my ex-husband and I do not have a very amicable relationship.

Immigration have now requested a Custody Document for Charlie.

When my ex-husband and I divorced, we never went to court. It was, at that stage all very civilised and amicable. We agreed on everything. The finances, the house, the possessions, the kids. It was never, ever under any question who the kids would stay with. He worked away, all over the country and often all over Europe, for months at a time. I had always provided 99% of their care. They didn't even really know their father and he certainly didn't know them. There was never any discussion about where the kids would stay. Since then, ten years ago, they've had a tenuous relationship with their father. I can count on two hands the number of nights they've spent with him in those ten years. I cannot, however, count on q thousand hands the amount of times he has let them down in those ten years There is no doubt that I have custody of them. He has hardly shown any responsibility.

Anyhow, it seems immi want this 'Custody Document'. We wrote to them to explain the situation. We told them that when I had the Stat Dec drawn up I asked about the custody issue and was told by solicitor that it was a mute issue and was not required. We told them that in our opinion, he would never have signed the Stat Dec if it wasn't already decided that I have custody and added that his solicitor would not have allowed him to do so had this been the case. Surely the stat dec is one step further than the custody thing? I am so flippin annoyed because it just adds insult to injury as far as I am concerned. So we'll just wait to hear from them. Gary will ring tomorrow to find out what they say.

If they dig their heels in then I have been advised to see an MP. Apparently, this kind of thing isn't unusual. From talking to other people, immi can be a bit silly about making sure boxes are ticked. I know at least 8 other people who have been through similar situations only to get an MP involved and the 'problem' sorted out in a few days.

Fingers crossed eh?

[Taffy]

You've probably got someone who's not long started on the job, and as you say is trying to get every box ticked without using their own common sense. It'll come right, don't worry

[keeweegal]

Dawn, as far as getting a MP involved, I contacted one once in respect of an employment/government dept issue (obviously very different to your case), but once they were involved, the issue was sorted within an afternoon. PM me if you want more details

I'm sure it will be sorted but stress you don't need (bloody jobsworths!).

Good luck
Sal x

[nickydwuk]

These government officials don't have a compassionate bone in their bodies. Get your MP involved and any one else can help.

Any chance of a hit squad on your ex?????

[ebianca]

What a pain in the backside!!!!

I'm sure all will come right in the end but just the waiting around and stress you certainly don't want.

[MotherBear]

Hope it all sorts itself out without any further mucking about, Dawn. I guess they're just trying to cover their butts instead of using their common sense.

[selchie]

For bureaucrats, if the checklist says "Custody Document", they need to see a custody document. It won't matter if another document provides the same info, but has another name. They do need to cover their hineys, so I sympathize with them a tiny bit. It sounds like getting help from a PM is easy enough, which is nice. Otherwise I'd be asking to talk to a supervisor within NZIS, or someone with half a bit of sense.

Good luck, Dawn. I'm sure it will work out fine.

[Dawn]

Well, just spoken to the case officer at immi and she is insisting on a 'Custody Document'. I explained that they don't give custody in the UK anymore unless the case is contested by one parent or another and she just kept saying 'you need custody document' (she is Korean). She says that both my ex and I have to have a legal document drawn up by our solicitors saying that I have custody of Charlie. This being the case, we are defo on our way back to the UK because, I know my ex will refuse. He will see it as his way of being able to be instrumental in affecting my future in a negative way. Since we split up (I left him) he has always accused me of ruining his life and he will do everything he can to get his own back. He has never been in control of the situation, I have, so, now he has the ball in his court he will make me pay for it.

I am gutted!!!!!! And more than a little annoyed. Gary has just gone out rather than be alone with me

[Taffy]

Tell Gary to phone back and speak to her manager. If you get no joy there, speak with the MP. Some people don't fully understand the legal system in other countries, so you'll be banging your head against a wall with your CO.

[1happywoman]

I don't know if this will help, but if you call and ask to speak to someone about a Custody Document, (and not your case mangler) you might get someone who is familiar with the sort of situation you are in. (I called the embassy here in the US and asked to speak to someone about a "police certificate" and actually got to speak to someone that understood what I was talking about with the scanned fingerprints instead of inked ones.)