Stumbling Block

[nickydwuk]

Oh Dawn, I can't begin to imagine what you are going through but you don't strike me as someone who gives up without a fight. As 1happywoman suggested try contacting someone who knows what you are talking about, try your MP - even try Helen Clark if it will help . NZ can't afford to lose you and your upfront honesty and opinions.

The sheep alone would not be able to cope without you

[Dawn]

Thank you Nicky - and talking of sheep they have disappeared just like that. Told you didn't I? One minute they're there, next the minute there gone or vice versa - sheep are freaky

I have an appointment with a 'Family Law' solicitor on Wednesday morning. I spoke with her yesterday and she said they are asking for something they can't have and are being ridiculous. I told her the situation about me ex and how he won't even talk to me let alone gt off his arse and do something like this. I also told her how we have countless people who can vouch for the fact that Charlie has always lived with me and that the idiot who fathered him has only rung him twice in the 10 months they've been here. He's obviously not bothered about contact let alone custody She's going to liase with imi on our behalf and try and see if there's a way around it.

The CO actually spoke to me although it was Gaz who rung her. Usually she refuses to speak to me because everything is in Gary's name. Gary is quite pleased about this because I get a bit, shall we say, aggressive with people when they are being arseholes. Gary on the other hand avoids confrontation and is much more likely to remain even tempered. However, on this occasion, it was her who was shouting at me She kept shouting, 'You no argue. We need document. We need document. You no argue.' All I was trying to do was explain about the custody issue! I even kept my voice at the same level and everything - amazing for me - usually I do the, speak vair slowly and deliberately thing so that they know I think they're thick but I was really trying to be nice because I neded her help in finding an alternative. She seemed, however, unwilling to give me one. Twat. Bet she's anal as well. Can Koreans be anal? Don't know how well the Freud theory would hold up in Asia.

So, anyway. We'll see what happens tomorrow morning. I am positive though. Because I have decided to stay here and no one and no thing will prevent it from happening, least of all a loud, yappy, little Korean who actually sounds like she should be eating 'Mr Dog'. She can go swivel

[ebianca]

I'm sure there must be something that can be done. You're not telling me you are the only person from the UK that hasn't gone through the courts and fought for custody of the children.
The fact you have the other letter giving permission for you to take him to NZ in the first place should be enough.

Hope this solicitor can get through to them for you and soon.

[kokopeli]

Ahhh Dawn, some things (and most bureaucrats) are sent to try us. Hope it gets sorted soon.

Originally Posted by Dawn

.......I have been advised to see an MP........ I know at least 8 other people who have been through similar situations only to get an MP involved and the 'problem' sorted out in a few days.

Isn't the last MP who 'helped' people with 'immigration issues' facing a Crown Court trial? Perhaps you should just ring your case officer (or her manager)and offer her hard cash.

Or tell her that you have a PhD.....

[Dawn]

Well guys, it's not looking good. There's no way around it we need a 'Parenting Order'. It must say that I have responsibility for the day to day care of Charlie and that he resides with me permanently in NZ. It has to be signed and witnessed by both parents and solicitors.

The ONLY possible way I can see this happening is to ask Lauren to ask her dad. When we got the Statutory Declaration drawn up in the UK that he had to sign, the one that said he gave his permission for me to take Charlie with me to live in New Zealand, he tried to bribe me. He said he would only sign it if I paid him £5000. Right! Course I will! Arsehole! So, I took Lauren with me to the meeting I had with him at the solicitors office so that she could see the kind of person her father was and he backed down, arguing that he had never said it. He obviously had enough about him that he didn't want to let Lauren see that he was, in effect, trying to sell his stake in her brother.

So, I'm wondering, if she can talk to him he might agree to sign it. I didn't want to get her involved, I don't think it's her responsibility but she has said she is happy to try and she is very mature and sensible for 17 AND she won't lose her temper with him. I would try to annihilate him down the phone.

It's still along job though, even if he agrees to sign it, the solicitor says it should take about 3 months. If not, I have to have court action served on him and that could take a year or more

[Welshgirl]

Mate, I told you, get yer backside down Immi and speak to someone in authority - get it straight from the horses mouth instead of straight from some yappy little Korean's mouth

You're gonna kick yourself if you go through all of this, just for someone who does undersand english to turn around and say Oh you didn't need to go to all this trouble!

[ebianca]

Threaten him with CSA and maintenence if he doesn't want to hand over custody to you.

Alternatively you could always get rid of him for less than the £5000 he wanted from you

[Dawn]

He doesn't pay maintenance anymore Beth, he doesn't need to now we're here. British law doesn't apply you see. He was vair quick to jump on to that one. So, basically, we're here, as a family, he makes no contribution towards his children financially or otherwise, in other words showing no interest in them whatsoever and I still have to go begging him to sign a piece of paper to say that the children I have brought up and cared for every day since the day they were born do live with me and can live with me because he gives his permission.

Where's the justice.

[kokopeli]

Send it here. I'll sign it. They'll never know.....

[Dawn]

Well, guys, they're not budging - we have to have this document or no residency. Soooo after, several emails between our case officer and ourselves we have the exact wording we need to put into another Statutory Declaration so that they can't turn round and say it's not right and we need something else. It's exactly the same as the one we already have except it also says, 'Charlie Stafford resides with his mother on a daily basis and she is responsible for his day to day care'. Now, how he can live here with me and those things not apply I do not know, but, this is what they want and so this is what they will get (assuming he gets his finger out and agrees to it). Then they said we should include 'I give my permission for Charlie to live permanently in NZ should residency be approved.' The one we have says, 'I give my permission for Charlie to emigrate to New Zealand and live permanently with his mother Dawn Marron.' What's the difference? Talk about stupidity.

Anyway, it will all be sorted and be fine because it can't be any other way and I'm not wasting any more time worrying about it, I'm staying positive.