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Thread: Has moving been a mistake?

  1. #1
    MrsD is offline Junior Member
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    Default Has moving been a mistake?

    I'm really worried that I've made a mistake in getting all caught up in the emigration process. My husband is desperate to move to NZ, at first, I wasn't bothered either way but now I seem to be thinking about how much I love where I stay and I don't think I want to move now.

    My question is, has anyone moved for their partners benefit and not regretted it? Would like to hear if you have done so and still happy that you did move.

    Should I just go for a couple of years and try it?
    Last edited by MrsD; 05-10-2008 at 11:10 AM. Reason: spelling

  2. #2
    kokopeli is offline God like figure
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    Hi MRsD,

    I don't mean this flippantly, but emigrating "is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get."

    Lots of people have been in a similar situation, so don't feel bad about having second thoughts. Emigrating might be the best thing you ever did. Then again, it might make you realise how good things were to begin with. Trouble is, you won't know for sure unless you try it.....

    Sounds to me like you've made your decision. Just remember that Life is what happens when you're busy making plans (John Lennon)

  3. #3
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    MotherBear is offline The missing link
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    Hi MrsD, sorry to hear you're having serious doubts.

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsD View Post
    My question is, has anyone moved for their partners benefit and not regretted it? Would like to hear if you have done so and still happy that you did move.
    With everyone being so different, their reactions, too, would be very varied. Whether you would be able to come to terms with the move and settle well would be down to your personality and ability to adapt. Add to that the degree of support that your partner could give you to help you settle and make a new life.

    Have either of you spent any time in NZ previously? If not, it could be a steep learning curve for both of you, so there's no guarantee that your partner will settle happily either. Maybe the best thing to do would be to push ahead with the immigration thing, but have in mind a contingency plan so that you can return home if you feel you really can't make a go of it. If you have such a plan, at least it will put your mind at rest that, if NZ isn't for you (or your partner), you will, at least, have an escape plan in place, a safety net. Just go to NZ with a positive mind and give it your best shot. Maybe you are only feeling the effects of 'fear of the unknown' and that could pass once your new life clicks into place. By going and facing your fears, you won't have to say to yourself in a few years 'What if....?' and you'd have had an adventure to remember.

    I hope some others can share their own stories with you. Good luck.
    Mother Bear

    Try to bloom wherever you are planted.

  4. #4
    Cliff's Avatar
    Cliff is offline Oh Masterful One
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    You can be happy or miserable anywhere. You need to decide if you are going to be happy with your surroundings wherever you are or just make yourself unhappy wherever you may be.
    Cheers

    Cliff

    Nelson, New Zealand
    NZ Citizenship in 2000, been in NZ 15 years now
    Arrived NZ in 1997 from Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

    "New Zealand isn't just a physical place it is a state of mind."

  5. #5
    MrsD is offline Junior Member
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    Thank you all for your kind advice and words.

    I think I'm being a tad selfish as My husband has always said he wanted to move to NZ from the min I met him so it's no big surprise really. Like I said, I'm quite happy with my life here but know I would have a good life there too. Husband hates it here and thinks it can't be any worse there so I suppose we've got nothing to lose. The UK is just a few hours away right?

    Mother bear, we have been on recce and both loved it. Very good advice about having a get out plan. I discussed with him this weekend how I was feeling and he has been great, we discussed if there would be any benefit going on a second recce trip etc and decided that we'll rent for a couple of years before buying just in case it doesn't work out for us and always have emergency money for flights home if needed.

    My MIL has also stared her NZ fund for visiting (I'm going to miss her most of all) and she is being so positive searching the net constantly for all thing NZ. Friends are all enthusiastic and many wish they had the opportunity to do it.
    Obviously I'll miss my close friends but I'm fairly sociably when I'm not moaning about stuff that hasn't even happened yet and don't think I'll find it hard to make a new circle of kiwi friends.


    Thanks again, very kind of you all to take the time to reply.

  6. #6
    LilAmy's Avatar
    LilAmy is offline God like figure
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    Hello MrsD

    We moved out really for mu husband. We'd been on holiday the yr prior, loved it and out of the blue he asked me if I wanted to move. We'd just purchased our second property, this would be our family home, a puppy and we were trying for kids but I knew how much he'd wanted to live overseas and as I liked NZ went along with it.

    We both agreed after our 2yr WHV was up we'd move back if one or the other wanted too and as it happens we both loved it so much we got residency and have been here since 2006 and have no plans to return to the UK apart from holidays.

    You have to be open minded and know that you might not like the move but also be open to liking your new lifestlye. I couldnt believe how quickly I adapted and loved my new life.

    I'm still not 100% that I'll be here forever but I just take one day at a time and know in me that I am happy for at least trying it and making a go of it.

    Too many people come out, spend three months here and say it's not working and leave. You have to give it a proper go just like anything in life. Giving a move like this a go takes around a yr or so as your first month or so is the honeymoon period, then reality hits in and you get homesick then you relax and enjoy it and try and make it home.

    My moto is 'Only regret things in life you dont do'....

    Good luck with things. It's good you and hubby are talking about the way you are feeling.

  7. #7
    Dawn's Avatar
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    I could, but I'm not gonna, coz no one wants to read another chapter from my 'you only have one life', book.



    Take a few risks. You will surprise yourself. And you will always learn something new
    Passionate about the unfathomableness opportunities of kiwi-a-gogo-land

  8. #8
    Cliff's Avatar
    Cliff is offline Oh Masterful One
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dawn View Post
    I could, but I'm not gonna, coz no one wants to read another chapter from my 'you only have one life', book.



    Take a few risks. You will surprise yourself. And you will always learn something new
    Dawn


    Go for it!

    Cliff
    Cheers

    Cliff

    Nelson, New Zealand
    NZ Citizenship in 2000, been in NZ 15 years now
    Arrived NZ in 1997 from Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

    "New Zealand isn't just a physical place it is a state of mind."

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