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Thread: No Mans Land!!!

  1. #1
    nickydwuk's Avatar
    nickydwuk is offline God like figure
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    Default No Mans Land!!!

    Has anyone else felt like this?

    We plan to emigrate to NZ next September. Until recently we were just talking and planning with not much else to do. I have since sent off my nursing registration and have been offered a job in Christchurch Hopsital which will be held until we arrive next year. I can't submit our EOI until after Christmas as I need my boys passports and I won't apply for them until my eldest is 16 in December (that way he will have a 10 year passport instead of a 5 year one). So now we are just waiting.

    I want to be doing something, applying for things, getting the ball rolling etc... but can't. We are in limbo. Now this 'delay' is causing me to rethink our situation. Do I really want to drag half my family to the other side of the world or would we be better off staying here where we both have good jobs, a house that will soon be paid for and family & friends? The mere thought of packing the house up and transporting the dogs is giving me the 'heebee jeebies'.

    I feel in such limbo - any suggestions???
    Nursing Registration sent 5th August 2007
    Job Offer 25th September 2007
    Nursing Registration received 28th December 2007
    Submitted EOI 3rd January 2008 with 150 points
    Selected 17th January 2008
    ITA Received 31st January 2008
    ITA submitted 25th April 2008
    Approved in Principle 3rd May 2008
    Blue Stickers arrived 13th May 2008
    Flights booked for 19th Sept to Christchurch

  2. #2
    ebianca's Avatar
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    Hey Nicky.

    Only you know what is best for you and your family.

    You have to look at the reasons you decided that you wanted to move to NZ in the first place and weigh them up against the things that are making you want to stay.

    I guess all the waiting around before you can do anything is giving you time to think about things rather than rushing into it.

    What do you want out of your life in NZ?Would you get what you want in life if you stayed in the UK?What do your kids want?

    If you already have a job/carreer lined up in NZ that is one problem out of the way. From what I have read/heard from you I imagine you wouldn't have any trouble making new friends in NZ. As for friends and family in the UK- it's not like you are going to be totally cut off from them- there is internet, phone and of course you are only 1 day away on a plane.

    We are sure that going to NZ is what is best for us and our family but what is good for one isn't always good for another. If you don't try how will you ever know?

    Maybe you could squeeze in a holiday to NZ before next Sept and do some exploring/fact finding to help you in your decision.

    Hope I haven't made things worse.

    Chin Up.

    Beth
    Flights booked for 24th March 2008!
    Landed in Wellington 26th March 2008!!

    Job Offer Received 9th July 2008!

    Temp Work Permit application submitted 11th July 2008!
    Temp Work Permit approved 4th August 2008!

    EOI Submitted 11th July 2008!
    EOI Selected 16th July 2008!
    EOI 'Successful' 1st August 2008!
    ITA Received 8th August 2008!
    ITA Aplication accepted 26th September!

    APROVED in Principle 10th June 2009!!!!
    Residency Visa issued 7th July 2009!!!!!

  3. #3
    KiwiHopeful's Avatar
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    Heh ... I think probably everyone on this board has gone through that!

    I know that the hardest part of the process for us was the waiting and uncertainty. When I had something to do, like fill out the ITA, I felt good about the process. When I had nothing to do, I couldn't even visit this board--I would feel physically sick thinking about all that was going on!

    Idle hands are the Devil's workshop, and I think the same can be said about an idle mind ... you start to think and rethink and second guess and doubt creeps in and boy oh boy. I spent a lot of time between my interview and receiving our visas looking at houses in Illinois, because we knew no matter what we were going to move on from our comfortable life in New Hampshire. So that got me thinking about what I could do with the money it was going to cost us to move to NZ ... and you know where this is all going.

    Honestly, I don't think I was actually convinced it was going to happen until we landed here. Everything from the point of receiving our visas until that moment is a blur, as unreal to me as a movie.

    I guess this probably isn't giving you anything other than the knowledge that someone else has been there too. The only bit of advice I can give is oft-repeated here: if you come here, you may regret it for a little while, but if you don't, you'll regret it forever. I've been here for nearly a mere three months, and I still don't know what my future will be, but I do know that I'm a different (and hopefully better) person for this experience.

    Good luck and good karma.
    EOI Submitted: July 20, 2006
    EOI Selected: August 2, 2006
    ITA Received: October 12, 2006
    ITA Submitted: February 2, 2007
    Migrant Levy Paid & Visas Shipped: June 6, 2007
    Arrived in NZ: July 26th, 2007
    Leaving NZ: June 1st, 2008

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    As Beth said, only you know what is best for you and your family.

    I am probably wrong as I don't know the whole situation, but I do see tell-tale signs in your post that your actions are a little half-hearted. It seems that most new immigrants, once they have made the decision, just cannot wait to get packed up and on that plane. Often finishing a course, job contract or waiting for the house to sale is a necessary frustration.

    I think many of us would not delay our move so a son can get a 10 year passport, though we would fully understand if you are waiting for him to finish his exams. I should imagine he will be thinking of his future next year and would like a clear view of what your plans are.

    Don't forget your time of year could affect how you look at things. I well remember the urge to 'batten down the hatches', wrap up and snuggle down (hibernate) for the winter. So different to spring's get up and go!

    If I was in the situation of 'waiting' in the UK again, I would probably take off in the car, leaving the kids with the hubby for a few days, and visit a few places I have wanted to go to.

    I hope I haven't made things worse, either. NZ is not for everyone, but I personally think life here is way better than that in the UK, and my kids do too.
    Glenda
    In NZ since June 2005
    Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness - Chinese proverb

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    Hi,

    I think everyone gets that feeling of limbo throughout the whole process and it's not until it's done and dusted you can completely chill out. We're still in limbo and we've been here over a year! We wont chill until we have our PR all sorted.

    Glenda knocked the nail on the head with your comment on the passport. Besides if you decide to stay long term here in NZ he'll need a kiwi passport wont he if you go for citzenship??

    Sometimes we have too much time to question our moves and think too much into it all. Enjoy the time you have in the UK and spend it with friends and family as in a year you wont have them round about you to go for coffee with.

    We took the time inbetween applying for our WHV and selling our house to start getting rid of knick knacks about the house and doing a total spring clean. We started getting documents together that we'd need for PR, I was in love with spreadsheets and putting dates on things that we needed to do, ie when we had to get our medicals and so like. I just kept really busy with organising our Visas.

    We also spent a lot of time researching NZ, even though we'd been before we didnt know where to get our IRD numbers from, what recruitment agencies were about, house prices and so on.

    There are lots to keep you busy and if you know you are making the right decision it's usually a good idea to start planning ahead as before you know it you'll be here and cursing yourself for not doing things when you had spare time.

    Anyway enough of my waffles, I hope you start feeling out of limbo soon. Just keep smiling and enjoy the spare time whilst you can.

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    selchie's Avatar
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    Nick, we're in a similar limbo. I'm not sure what will spur the final decision, but there are all sorts of variables which could push it one way or the other. We've just gotten our blue stickers, and even if we decide not to move to NZ, I will not regret having gone through the process & cost.

    I recommend that you try to be as certain about your motivations as you can be. Going over with dreams of a shiny, brand new life are likely to create disappointment as you realize that you're the same old person you ever were. ...Something similar is why we're stalling - both Karin and I are going through some changes, and we're not sure where we'll each be in the end. Neither of us want to leave our home and friends behind, and then find that we really should be making new lives without each other. We hope to be further in our respective explorations & changes by the time a decision needs to be made.

    Good luck.
    If men had wings and bore black feathers, few of them would be clever enough to be crows.
    - Rev. Henry Ward Beecher, mid-1800s

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    nickydwuk's Avatar
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    I know this is the right move for me and the family. We can't move until next September as my oldest son is in his final year at school so I want him to finish his exams first. It is that and not the passports that are holding up the move.

    KH was right - the devil does make work for idle minds. I just want to be doing something. We are beginning to sort out the house but with working full time it's not easy. I think my problem is I just want us to have finished the immigration process so that I all I need to sort out it emptying the house, selling and moving. I just want to jump forward in time to next summer.

    I am rather impatient. I'm also having a 'funny' week so forgive me if I am rambling & maudling.
    Nursing Registration sent 5th August 2007
    Job Offer 25th September 2007
    Nursing Registration received 28th December 2007
    Submitted EOI 3rd January 2008 with 150 points
    Selected 17th January 2008
    ITA Received 31st January 2008
    ITA submitted 25th April 2008
    Approved in Principle 3rd May 2008
    Blue Stickers arrived 13th May 2008
    Flights booked for 19th Sept to Christchurch

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    Isn't this immigrating thing and the lulls in between scrabbling round doing things and then waiting around for the next step a bit like getting married? When all the arrangements have been taken as far as they'll go, don't we have quiet moments when we're wondering if we're doing the right thing?

    Nicky, there must have been a reason why, in the midst of your comfortable life, you suddenly thought of immigrating to NZ. Something must be lacking somewhere if you're considering such a huge step as moving to the underbelly of the world. Will that invisible 'something' still be there niggling at you if you decide to stay in the UK?

    I think Beth's idea of planning a holiday to NZ in the interim is a good one. It's a lot of expense when you could be saving the money towards your move there, but, even if just you and OH go on your own, it'll give you something to plan for and something to help settle any doubts you still have about the move. If you head down Christchurch way, you could even scout out the lie of the land with a view to where you'd like to live and visit the hospital where your job offer came from. Seeing things for yourself and maybe meeting people you'll be working with would add some definition to your plans and make them seem more real. You'll have a proper picture in your minds to take back home with you. The feelings you get when you undertake such a visit will go a long way to helping you realise you're doing the right thing.....or otherwise.

    If you can't manage a trip downunder, perhaps start making lists of all the things you're likely to need to do relative to your move e.g. notifying various companies and people of change of address, cancelling things such as papers, utilities, subscriptions, insurances etc. Maybe even draft out a notification letter ready to fill in when the time comes. Having moved from the UK myself, I was amazed at how many things I had to sort out - the more I did the more I found I still had to do. Things will occur to you bit by bit and you can jot them down.

    Thinking that we were leaving here in December at the end of hubster's contract, I set about going through all my cupboards and drawers, sorting out the rubbish and tidying up the remainder. I did start earnestly packing a lot of things away that we're not using at the moment, as I didn't want to have to do it all in the last few weeks. Don't underestimate how big a job this is. As it happens, hubster has been given an extended contract so my efforts were all in vain, but that doesn't matter as it was a great exercise and a bit like a spring clean. It's good for the soul and you can take it bit by bit because you know you have the time. For you, it would focus your mind on what you want to take with you, what you want to chuck and what you'd like to give away or sell. On my part, it reunited me with quite a few things I'd forgotten we had or things that I thought were missing, so that was good.

    If you can't move until next Sept., that's quite a lot of time to shove in. If you want to submit your EOI now, can you not put a note in with it that details of your son's passport will follow on as he hasn't got one yet? INZ is used to folks adding bits and pieces of documentaton and information as they go along, so I'd hope that would be OK. You could always ring or email to ask if you want verification.

    Quote Originally Posted by nickydwuk
    I'm also having a 'funny' week so forgive me if I am rambling & maudling.
    You feel free to ramble and be maudling all you like. We're here to help support each other through thick and thin. Must say I've been feeling a bit like that myself this last week.
    Mother Bear

    Try to bloom wherever you are planted.

  9. #9
    nickydwuk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MotherBear View Post

    You feel free to ramble and be maudling all you like. We're here to help support each other through thick and thin. Must say I've been feeling a bit like that myself this last week.
    Must be something int he air

    I am feeling a bit better now. I just like to be getting on with things - relating it to wedding planning is so true. But then I was young and soooo in love - still am (not the young bit ) I will get down to planning what I can do or find out who to contact when the time is right. We are off the the NZ Expo in London this weekend so that should provide us with more info on what we need to do & who to contact. Time will fly so I do need to start getting organised - I feel a spreadsheet coming on
    Nursing Registration sent 5th August 2007
    Job Offer 25th September 2007
    Nursing Registration received 28th December 2007
    Submitted EOI 3rd January 2008 with 150 points
    Selected 17th January 2008
    ITA Received 31st January 2008
    ITA submitted 25th April 2008
    Approved in Principle 3rd May 2008
    Blue Stickers arrived 13th May 2008
    Flights booked for 19th Sept to Christchurch

  10. #10
    MotherBear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nickydwuk View Post
    I feel a spreadsheet coming on
    Ah, you're a spreadsheet person. I'm a list person myself. Could never get to grips with spreadsheets although I'm forced to use them now and again. There's nothing like a good spreadsheet or list to focus one's attention.
    Mother Bear

    Try to bloom wherever you are planted.

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