Making new friends

Do you think slagging of the national sport and the poeple that play and watch it will help?

DOH!!! :icon_mrgreen:

this is a good question.

i am planning on going on my own and hope that i do make new kiwi friends, i think work and possibly sports clubs etc - football, cycling, walking ( or tramping !! ) will help in this.

BUT i dont think its something i'm going to worry about or let it put me off. i'm just gonna let things happen and be myself. or maybe that aint such a good idea hehe :icon_wink:

if not i'll just need to hope my friends here can take turns on the holiday front :icon_biggrin:

Im not really that gregarious and tend to shy away from clubs and the like. Unless someone starts a club for people who don't like joining clubs- I just might be up for that.
Kiwis have always been polite, courteous and helpful. My missus feels that this is a superficial friendliness in that everyone says hello and passes the time of day but breaking into a circle of established friends is a bit difficult. My guess is that this would be the case anywhere. Having said that, and noting that this country has its fair share of domestic upheaval and youth violence, we both agree that NZ is a lot less threatening than the UK.
That goes especially for meetings with gatherings ( I almost instinctively wrote gangs) of youths when out walking in the evenings. Invariably polite and respectful, willing to step aside to allow you through.

My hello too Di - or should I (since you are a Kiwi) say Gidday?!

[quote:aaa4879b53="netchicken"]What drives europeans nuts is the typical kiwi saying of "we have to get together some time," and "you must come around for dinner one night".

The european then is expecting an imminent meal date, and nothing comes from it.
...I used to be a user of this phrase as well, and its intent is more of "We should get together but not right now, but sometime in the vague future when we get some time.[/quote:aaa4879b53]

This seems to also be common in the US. It can mean "you're someone I'd like to try socializing with, but don't have any plans for it", if the person is sincere. It can also be a hollow pleasantry if the person is not.

I'm a bit slow to meet people and make friends, but I've found that when I get involved in something that I enjoy, I'll often meet someone that I take a shine to. Sometimes these result in "summer camp friendships" which fade away after the common event, but I still think fondly of those people. And sometimes I've gotten invited into a circle of friends who are quite agreeable. I currently have (at least) two circles of friends that are more like ripples - they spread out and involve other people whose company I enjoy. And then I found that these two ripples intersect at a number of people, which can make for additional good times. Our friendships are the biggest things that will make it painful to move away.

Hi,

I must admit we thought the same that Kiwis were very friendly, when we visited. Obviously we need to live there before I can comment though.

My husband worked in America for about a year and he said that Americans were very much like that and I never really thought of the Kiwis as being the same.

We have always had friends at work, like everyone, but not really lasting, true friendships. I also think like SteveC it is due to the fact that we have moved around quite a lot so have never really put down roots.

I'm so glad we are not alone in having no friends, I feel so much better now.;-))

[quote:b91659e8e5="bikershaz"]I'm so glad we are not alone in having no friends, I feel so much better now.;-))[/quote:b91659e8e5]

Funny you should make that statement. I was thinking the same thing and also it comes to mind how many others on here are saying it as well. Seems we're partly a forum of Billy No Mates. We also move around a fair bit and have the same problem although it's worse here because we are living a fair way from all the places where expats live and gather to carry on their recreational pursuits.

Does anyone else feel that, apart from losing out by moving about, it can be a self-protective thing to keep people at arms length? Sometimes we've made what we've thought were good friends only to find they were either users, a bit strange [color=violet:b91659e8e5](they probably thought the same about us)[/color:b91659e8e5] or expecting more than we were prepared to give. Perhaps it's just our British reserve, but odd how quite a few of us on here are saying that we don't have a set of close friends.

Let's hope it'll be different when we get to NZ.

[quote:6a43bb650a="MB"]Does anyone else feel that, apart from losing out by moving about, it can be a self-protective thing to keep people at arms length? Sometimes we've made what we've thought were good friends only to find they were either users, a bit strange (they probably thought the same about us) or expecting more than we were prepared to give. Perhaps it's just our British reserve, but odd how quite a few of us on here are saying that we don't have a set of close friends.[/quote:6a43bb650a]

No, move around cos we're young in life and trying to find the place and lifestyle that suits us best coupled with Careers etc. Hate the whole arms length thing, and probaqbly guilty of appearing to be using myself, it seems that most people just have more helpful skills than me. They're mechanics or computer whizzes or can do DIY. All I can offer in return is my friendship, some marketing advice should they ever start a company themsleves :icon_rolleyes: or if all else fails I could sing em a song!!! Makes me feel quite guilty at times.

Nice to hear from you BikerShaz, how's tricks? Still on course for Moving over?

Awww all you can offer is friendship, that should be enough.

I can't tell you how many times we have helped people out and been let down, especially with the Brits in Spain!!!

Anyway back to our move, thanks for asking, we are still very much on track. Just trying to sort our little dog at the moment as it is a very complicated process from Spain. We are now the proud owners of blue stickers in our passports, which is great. Hopefully be ready for the off in September and by then the house should be finished and ready to sell or let, we haven't decided yet.

I just popped in to check email as I am (or I should be) working very hard clearing the garden!

Still the sun is shining and it is lovely and warm so I shouldn't complain too much.

Thanks for your replies.

Shaz

[quote:9f83187439="SteveyC"]All I can offer in return is my friendship, [/quote:9f83187439]
Yes, that's fine. I don't ask for anything else. It's when they walk away with ne'er a backward glance and you know you've been had :icon_evil: .

Congrats on the blueys, Bikershaz. You're all legal now and ready to go. [img:9f83187439]http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_16_1.gif[/img:9f83187439]

[quote:ca37c37831]Still the sun is shining and it is lovely and warm so I shouldn't complain too much[/quote:ca37c37831]

Grrrrr!!! Unsurprisingly, here it's not!!!!! :icon_evil: