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Thread: Living the dream?

  1. #1
    hatter5's Avatar
    hatter5 is offline Senior Member
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    Default Living the dream?

    A step on from "What are you expecting?"

    I was wondering how many of the forum members already in NZ are getting on? The honeymoon period being over and getting on with their new lives.

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    Daisyspop's Avatar
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    Default Living the dream?

    The dream goes on. I guess reality is about the ins and outs, ups and downs of daily life. Unfortunately most of us have to work for a living wherever we are. But the quality of life here is simply incomparable as we enjoy family outings (up to Whangarei yesterday), setting off in the rain in the knowledge that the sun wouldn't let us down. As we passed through beautiful scenery our 15 year old son, already blase about his new surroundings, replied to our entreaties to put his book down and look out of the windows, "they are only fields".
    It's very easy to start thinking like that as the days, weeks and months fly by. But what wouldn't we have given for those long empty roads and vast expanses of green countryside in the UK. We are reassured every day, in one way or another, that it was the right move for us, no matter what happens we won't be leaving here. We came here for what were and remain the right reasons, the lifestyle. We earned more in the Uk but here we are far far richer in all the things that really matter and describe the quality of life. How is earning a lot of money, or living in a vast mansion life? One of the last families I met professionally before coming here had a huge house in Surrey, but they both came home in the late evening just too late to kiss their children goodnight, Nanny had already put them to bed. They thought that they were incredibly fortunate - what I thought is obvious. We have been here almost a year now.

  3. #3
    Welshgirl's Avatar
    Welshgirl is offline Super Moderator
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    Default Living the dream?

    Excellent post Daisyspop :icon_biggrin: Pretty much sums up our feelings too. We've heard a lot about how expats were financially better off in the UK but their 'rich' lifestyle more than makes up for the lack of income in NZ. For some, replacing money with lifestyle is not enough reason to come here. It's been said over and over, moving to this country should be a lifestyle choice, not for financial benefit. Of course, there are those lucky ones who will make just as good a living here as they did in the UK and the very best of luck to them, but the majority are worse off - that's not to say everyone is struggling, but the philosophy here is generally, if you can pay your bills, put food on the table and clothe your kids (basically, supply the necessities of life), everything else is incidental.

    At a recent BBQ, one person asked a crowd of us expats if, after all our time here, there was anything we missed about the UK. Conversation halted for a few moments while we all tried to think of an answer and no-one could (apart from missing family!).

    So, all in all, no regrets I guess ::):

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    Glenda's Avatar
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    Default Living the dream?

    Totally agree with what's been said. :icon_biggrin:

    Though I could still be said to be in the 'honeymoon stage' after four and a half months, I love it here and the kids love it here and there has been no homesickness. Financially, we are eating into capital ... but that is due to our personal circumstances (unsold house and business assets in the UK, etc.) and only time will tell whether we will be struggling when everything is sorted as well as can be.

    Don't miss anything from the UK (with the exception of mum, dad and sister popping round), though the kids miss certain foodstuffs.

    Of course, everyone is different and I do know of an expat living here who has happy children, beautiful house with sea views, etc. and still aches to be back in the UK for [i:92cd8e0d7a]its[/i:92cd8e0d7a] lifestyle.

    ::):
    Glenda
    In NZ since June 2005
    Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness - Chinese proverb

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    SteveyC's Avatar
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    Default Living the dream?

    [quote:85c8573546="Glenda"]Of course, everyone is different and I do know of an expat living here who has happy children, beautiful house with sea views, etc. and still aches to be back in the UK for [i:85c8573546]its[/i:85c8573546] lifestyle.

    ::):[/quote:85c8573546]

    Bit simple are they?....Bless!!! :icon_rolleyes:

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    Glenda's Avatar
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    Default Living the dream?

    [quote:43f35aed7c="SteveyC"][quote:43f35aed7c="Glenda"]Of course, everyone is different and I do know of an expat living here who has happy children, beautiful house with sea views, etc. and still aches to be back in the UK for [i:43f35aed7c]its[/i:43f35aed7c] lifestyle.

    ::):[/quote:43f35aed7c]

    Bit simple are they?....Bless!!! :icon_rolleyes:[/quote:43f35aed7c]

    :icon_biggrin:
    Wouldn't call them simple ... some people move for a 'better lifestyle' and 'future for the kids' and don't realise just how strong the feeling of comfort and belonging their old life in the UK is to them until they have emigrated.

    Silly things taken for granted in the UK like ... (for example) the range of shops available, the foodstuffs they have grown up with, cold weather at Christmas, bluebells in woodland, football matches, tv programmes they can relate to ... all sound ridiculous on their own but lumped together with a little homesickness and loss of family/friend support makes a potent brew.

    I think it helps to have a strong sense of closure with respect to the UK and adaptability to new situations, however few people really know how much they have of both until they have emigrated.

    It is really inspiring to hear how people are living the dream, and most people do, ::): but there is a minority who find themselves continually feeling out of place in their new country and those who give up and return to what they know. That will always be the case, no matter how run down and unpleasant the UK becomes.

    ::):
    Glenda
    In NZ since June 2005
    Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness - Chinese proverb

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    Default Living the dream?

    I think it is true that people will naturally yearn for the old life that they grew accustomed to, especially children who have experienced nothing else. I have enormous sympathy for those who have to admit that it didn't work out for them. But the one thing that is unchangeable in life is that changes will happen; sometimes they just creep up on you and at other times they drop like a bomb.
    I well remember moaning about 'old people' who are always harping on about 'the old days' and how wonderful they were. It seemed odd to me that they would prefer to live without central heating, fitted carpets, bathrooms, inside toilets and refrigerators etc. It took a total stranger to point out to me that these people had lived through the most accelerated period of change in history. When they were young the milkman came on a horse and ladled out their purchases into a jug; now man has walked on the moon and their whole understanding of the world has been slowly and inexorably turned around. "What they seek", said my advisor, " is a stable place where they can be safe and unchanged."
    When we came here we accepted that a great deal would change, we came here for a change, and a change is what we will get no matter where we are in the world. It has been said, and to a degree it is true, that New Zealand is best described as England in the 60's. Much will change here in our lifetime too, I hope, as do many fellow forum members, that it if NZ catches up with the Uk it won't be the self serving society that we left so willingly and happily behind.

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    netchicken is offline Senior Member
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    Default Living the dream?

    [quote:37e23182fc="Daisyspop"]
    I well remember moaning about 'old people' who are always harping on about 'the old days' and how wonderful they were. It seemed odd to me that they would prefer to live without central heating, fitted carpets, bathrooms, inside toilets and refrigerators etc. [/quote:37e23182fc]

    WooHoo!
    They should move to NZ then :)
    Apart from the Refrigerators there are plenty of places without central heating, outside toilets, and wodden floors!

  9. #9
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    Default Living the dream?

    That's undoubtedly true but they are living in relative peace, there is poverty all over the world and the uk has more than its fair share. There are incidentally those people who choose that simple lifestyle it isn't always imposed.

  10. #10
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    Default Living the dream?

    Flippancy aside I am seriously suggesting that although we came here accepting that many things would change we like to be in charge of any changes in order to cope with them. Movement implies change by very definition and it is often thrust upon us so that we just have to accept it or give up. We can only cater for the expected, the unexpected will always catch us wrong footed. Surely noone comes all this way expecting to have everything fall neatly into place. Not so long ago I really thought that I was trained to cope with change (did the courses at work) but found myself getting annoyed with the wife because she moved my favourite chair. Perceived wisdom tells me that had I said nothing for a couple of weeks I would never have minded so much as I got used to a new position. I realise that time doesn't always allow us to accept new/different things but for most of us it helps. A friend who has been here now for 14 years tells me that although he still misses UK sausages he has grown quite used to the Kiwi ones. Being further pressed he admits that he can't accurately remember what the Uk sausages tasted like anymore. So the question is, does he miss what he used to eat or ( like the things of our childhood), is it mere nostalgia?

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