Families!!!

[moggy]

Thanks tbh part of me would like to tell them where to shove it when we go and make the break complete and final, but family is family and besides I would never know the truth. Mother always swore that she loved us both equally (despite treating us completely differently which she always denied that she did) and when they died everything would be split down the middle. I know it is many years off yet, but I don't want to tell them where to go as I would never know if she was true to her word or not. I have a feeling big brother will end up with the lot whatever happens, but at least I will have the answer that I need. If I tell em to get lost I will never know.
No it is not about the money, I am not that mercenary, I just want to know the answer.

Tbh these days I am sad at the situation, but resigned to it. The inlaws more than make up for them, they are wonderful.

Glenda - despite your problems you still have a heart to reach out to others - that is lovely. I hope you get the house sold. I am surprised that he can stop the sale, I would have thought that you would have been able to sell it and then negotiate afterwards about what if any money he is entitled to.

That and I would tell him bluntly if you remain in the UK he will never see the grandkids again, if you go, he can come and visit.

[Glenda]

Hi again, Moggy. ::):

You never know, you may possibly get on better with your family being 12,000 miles away, as long as letters are kept polite and short.

FIL can't stop us selling the house but he tried as he thought we were heavily mortgaged and that on the sale the mortgage company would get first pickings. I'm glad to say (just between you and me, of course :icon_wink: ) that our mortgage is less than half of the value of the house. :icon_biggrin:

He is not 'with it' and his case (which was incredibly weak and stupid) has just collapsed before getting to court. His solicitors broke up with him because of his temper tandrums and the fact he has not paid his bill. They are threatening the baliffs. We feel a bit guilty in that he has obviously gone off the rails because we have decided to go to NZ, but not too guilty as we have had a lot of stress, plus solicitors and Counsel to pay.

As for his relationship with his grandchildren ... I am kinda relieved he is not seeing them as he is not influencing them.

:icon_biggrin:

[moley]

Hi all it saddens me to read how famillies can be but i know how you all feel!!! Thank goodness the saying " you can choose your friends but not your family" is true :icon_sad: Give me friends anyday over family :icon_biggrin:

[moggy]

I am so glad that his case has fallen through. I know it may be hard, but try and view it as a man desperately in love with his family that he doesn't want to lose. Yes he was selfish, but it was driven by not wanting to lose those he cares about the most. Ironically his trying to do that, may just have done what he hoped to prevent.

th I have given up trying to get on, at the age of 36 I have finally realised, she wont change, he wont change and to stop blaming myself for their shortcomings. Oh no doubt we will be polite, but she will never come out to visit and I doubt I will spend the money to come here again. Oh if I miraculously became pregnant, that would be another matter - she is desperate from grandchildren and "adopts" any child she can as a grandchild. At the same time telling me that it doesn't matter I can't have kids. I just love my nose being rubbed in it every kiddie story she tells me. :icon_twisted:

sorry rambling again.

[Glenda]

The subject of 'families' is enough to make anyone ramble. :icon_wink: ::):

I am sure there are quite a few folks out there who just have to resign themselves to the fact that their family is less than ideal, and just get on with their own lives. It really sounds like the move will be beneficial to you.

Miracles can happen. I cried every month for two years before getting fertility treatment. Now I have four kids. I know there are different reasons why people can't have kids ... but who knows what can happen.

(Will not ramble, will not ramble, will not ramble ....)

:icon_biggrin:

[moggy]

[quote:cbca4c1e10="Glenda"]
I am sure there are quite a few folks out there who just have to resign themselves to the fact that their family is less than ideal, and just get on with their own lives. [/quote:cbca4c1e10]

I try and look back on it and take the positives not the negatives. It made me very competitive in life as I was always trying to prove that I was as good as esoab (evil son of a bitch) and I have been a lot more sucessful in my career as a result. It also made me assertive and very independent. And I am very happy with my life I have a wonderful husband, nice house, good job and a couple of gorgeous cats.

[river]

Father in law is supportive (even though he's not too well and has been on deaths door numerous times with 3 Heart attacks, open heart surgery etc, etc) as he's visted a few times in the merchant navy and would have loved to have done it himself, still goes on how beautiful a country it was, Mother in law is supportive but I know she is pretty devastated as she loves all our kids and the OH and leaves prettty close. It's too far to travel for them to visit.
She sees her brother once in a blue moon at Xmas for 30mins so no love lost there.
I haven't told my parents as yet until I get a few things sorted out and if it all falls through :icon_frown: I wasn't invited to my brothers wedding so it's not like he'll miss me, I see my sister a few times a year (she keeps forgetting to send the kids B'day cards and we have never once forgotten any of hers, sore subject this one). So the main issue with us apart from friends is the OH missing her MIL.
And if she ever reads that "spider" post someone put on, there's not a hope in hell of her even visiting NZ!!!!

[kiwi_fairy]

[quote:6ba1840d5a]he keeps forgetting to send the kids B'day cards and we have never once forgotten any of hers[/quote:6ba1840d5a]

*ouch* we're usually the ones forgetting the birthdays/anniversaries. :icon_rolleyes:

If we move I doubt our relatives would ever be able to visit. And our family would only be able to come back like to the States like once a year, and only a couple of us at a time. With 7 of us (8 if my brother came) it would get pretty costly. :icon_evil: :icon_evil: :icon_evil:

[river]

that should have read "lives pretty close"

[Glenda]

[quote:19f898ea39="moggy"] I have been a lot more sucessful in my career as a result. It also made me assertive and very independent. And I am very happy with my life I have a wonderful husband, nice house, good job and a couple of gorgeous cats.[/quote:19f898ea39]

That is great Moggy! :icon_biggrin: (How was it I just knew you were a 'cat' person? :icon_wink: :icon_biggrin: )

You have a good life, I have a good life too. We both have an adventure coming up! Let's forget about darn awkward families. :icon_razz: