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Thread: F 35, just moved to NZ from UK and not settled

  1. #1
    clairelouise11 is offline Junior Member
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    May 2010
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    Otorohanga / Te Awamutu
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    Default F 35, just moved to NZ from UK and not settled

    Hi there everyone

    I have just moved to NZ from England. I live in Otorohanga with my father in law to be and work in admin in Te Awamutu.
    I arrived here in Oct 09 so have had a few months off to adjust and look for work and have been working for about 7 weeks now.
    The trouble is i feel more unsettled now than i did when i first arrived....maybe starting work is making me realise that its not just a holiday now!
    I feel quite alone and lost even though i have a partner and his family around me and i am starting to get to know people at work but it still isn't helping
    We can't buy our own house at the moment as my partner is between jobs which means i can't buy a horse and dog that i am looking forward to getting plus we're sharing my partners car, i am driving it to work, because he isn't working at the moment we don't need another car just yet.
    So i guess the only things i actually own is my clothes!
    Just wondering if anyone is in a similar position or how long its taken you to settle in when moved abroad and any advice.
    Thanks :o)
    Last edited by clairelouise11; 24-05-2010 at 04:20 PM.

  2. #2
    MotherBear's Avatar
    MotherBear is offline The missing link
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    currently Ras al Khaimah, UAE, ex Wales, UK
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    Default

    How long it takes to settle in a new country can often depend on the person and how adaptable he/she is to a new environment. It is probably quite difficult for you to now switch from holiday mode to 'real life' where you have to go out into the work place and perform. The best way to integrate and make friends is to open yourself to it and approach people instead of waiting for them to approach you. The friendlier you are, the more people you will attract. I would hope your partner and his family are supporting you as best they can. It can't be easy sharing a home with other people so that is only adding to the problem. Gently encouraging your partner to find a job might help to resolve some of your issues.

    I have read advice from people over the years on this forum where they say it's best to leave any decision about giving up on NZ until you've been there for 2 years. After that time you should know better how you're going to settle and whether it's not working for you. After a rocky start, many people suddenly find that they are happy with their new life and don't want to change it. Have you discussed how you feel with your partner and his family so they know that you are struggling? It might be better to do it now before you sink too low and can't pick yourself back up. You could all work together then to improve the situation.
    Mother Bear

    Try to bloom wherever you are planted.

  3. #3
    Taffy's Avatar
    Taffy is offline He who shall be ignored
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    Default

    Hi, as MB says, it takes quite a while to adjust to real life when you've moved country. Otorohanga is a pretty small town too so maybe that's adding to your feelings as there's not so many people to bump in to! When we first moved here, we lived in Tauranga and in the 4 months we were there, barely anyone spoke to us! We then moved to Hamilton and from there it must have taken another 3 or so months for us to start finding local friends, you just have to get out and get amongst people!
    Taffy

    The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.

  4. #4
    hoping2win is offline Junior Member
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    Jun 2010
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    Smile post partum blues

    clairelouise, don't worry, you will get used to it here. You will be missing your friends and it will be a real test of your character for you to go out and make new ones. NZ'ers are real friendly and interested in other countries so just say Hi to everyone and someone will latch on to you.
    Good Luck!

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