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Thread: Kiwi Kulcha

  1. #1
    MotherBear's Avatar
    MotherBear is offline The missing link
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    Talking Kiwi Kulcha

    I guess we could all do with a little humour during these difficult times.

    Rural kiwi computer terminology

    LOG ON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.
    LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.
    MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.
    DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.
    HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies..
    KEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keys.
    WINDOW: What you shut when the weather's cold.
    SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season.
    BYTE: What mozzies do.
    MEGABYTE: What townsville mozzies do.
    CHIP: A bar snack.
    MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
    MODEM: What you did to the lawns.
    LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.
    SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.
    HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.
    MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
    MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.
    WEB: What spiders make.
    WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
    SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won't go.
    CURSOR: What you say when the ute won't go.
    YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.
    UPGRADE: A steep hill.
    SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch
    MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
    USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
    NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
    INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.
    NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.
    ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.
    OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.
    Mother Bear

    Try to bloom wherever you are planted.

  2. #2
    Welshgirl's Avatar
    Welshgirl is offline Super Moderator
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    I like:

    SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won't go.
    CURSOR: What you say when the ute won't go.
    YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.

    Thanks MB

  3. #3
    Taffy's Avatar
    Taffy is offline He who shall be ignored
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    I would have said that was more Aussie culture with the reference to Townsville! Still funny though
    Taffy

    The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.

  4. #4
    MotherBear's Avatar
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    Err, yes, it was originally sent to me as being Aussie kulcha, but I could just imagine it applying to kiwis equally as well, so I thought 'Why not?'. Not knowing what/where Townsville was, I didn't know what to put as a kiwi equivalent.
    Mother Bear

    Try to bloom wherever you are planted.

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