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Thread: Well thats a lesson learned

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    Meadow's Avatar
    Meadow is offline Senior Member
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    Default Well thats a lesson learned

    When we decided we were coming to N.Z my then 15yrold daughter was so excited.
    Then she gets a boyfriend and of course the notion to move to the other side of the world leaves her
    But i convinced her that it would be no problem whatsoever for him to come visit,have a wee holiday etc.Not for a minute thinking it would come to that,as we were hoping that she would meet loads of pals over here,later on even another b/f.
    And hoping he would meet another girl in Scotland.
    She comes in this morning and announces his flights booked,june 14th for 3 weeks
    We havent even got our furniture yet,though should be leaving UK on the 13th may
    Im sure his mum is just every bit as anxious,i know id be terrified of her going away round the world on her own,at 16
    Good thing is though hes a lovely wee guy, no probs with him that way,just feel they are too young
    And hes a vegetarian ,must admit i will like that watching a teen eat veggies,might even encourage my daughter then to give them a go lol
    So just watch what you bribe your teens with,you just might have to carry it out
    Meadow

    Landed in New Zealand 29th jan 2008
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    Welshgirl is offline Super Moderator
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    Good old teenagers

    The good thing is I suppose, is that your daughter will see that you are prepared to go through with what you bribed her with - you were true to your word She will thank you for it (even if she doesn't say so!) and, though it may well not turn out to be true love forvever between them, you gave her what she needed and let it run its course.

    So well done to you Meadow, I'm sure he'll have a lovely time with you Just be prepared for tears when he has to return to the UK.

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    AmandaB is offline Junior Member
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    Default 13th May

    Hey Meadow

    If you're flying from Heathrow, look out for me and hubby (chubby blonde woman and skinny tall bloke). We fly out on the 13th to have a look see and hopefully for interviews (still waiting for details from consultant). We have the same problem with our 18year old daughter. I stupidly suggested that the new boyfriend could get a work permit and come over for a year thinking he wouldn't consider it - but no, he thinks it's a great idea!!

    Amanda

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    We had a similar issue with our 16 year old son. He met a girl after we decided to move. He was reluctant to come with us but has now relented. Initially she was going to come over at Xmas then next July/August. But she decided to stay in UK for Xmas but come over in the the summer (UK). Now she can't come over as her parents don't want her flying on her own. They have decided to be adult about it and to stop being 'boyfriend/girlfriend' while he is in NZ to ease the strain on them. Then when we visit after 3 years if they still have feelings for each other they will take it from there. Hopefully by then he would have found a nice kiwi girl. They are still young. I think as long as you don't come down hard on them and support their decisions it all comes right in the end.
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    Meadow's Avatar
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    Thanks Welsh girl. Yip thats the bit i dread the most,the tears again. She had a few before we left,then some more here,but the past month she has been fine.
    Hi Amanda,we are in N.Z. Came over in jan same way,and hubby found work couple weeks into it.Well actually it was an expat who works in an recruitment agency who done us a favour and pointed the job in hubbys direction. Good man
    But aye you should watch what you suggest,cause like that we had been giving it 'oh it will be great experience for him(b/f) to have a holiday,he wont need much money,blah blah,thinking she will meet someone straight away and he will be forgotten.lol not to be,hes taking our offer of a nice wee holiday in N.Z
    And as you say Nicky,i thought his mum wouldnt allow him to travel all those miles himself. Ive only met the boy couple times and im worried about him doing it on his own.I know i wont be enocouraging her to visit him alone
    Meadow

    Landed in New Zealand 29th jan 2008
    Colin got job offer 21st feb
    Work Permit applied for 3rd march
    Colins work permit received friday 2nd may 2008
    Dated till jan 2010
    My work permit applied for 7th may 2008
    My work permit received 27th may 2008
    Dated till jan 2010


    Arrived back in Scotland 21st July 2009

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    Dawn's Avatar
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    I remember saying the same thing to our oldest daughter when she complained about leaving her bf back in the UK and MY GOD!! if only. It didn't take long for him to start swapping spit with someone else and for her to do the 'OMG, he's so not worth it!' thing. BUT I wish I were having to put him up for 3 weeks, he would be preferable to the kiwi she seems besotted with at the moment
    Passionate about the unfathomableness opportunities of kiwi-a-gogo-land

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    ebianca's Avatar
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    Oh the joys of 'young love' I got quite a while before have to start worrying about what boys are going to be brought through our front door.
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    My worry is my daughter (well not MY worry but her Dad's). She is sensible and as far as I know has not had a serious relationship but when in NZ I know her dad will be scrutinising every boy she associates with. No one will be good enough for his little girl (she will be 19!!) I will have to distract him - but how.....................
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    ebianca's Avatar
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    i'm sure you'll tinkof something Nicky- I thought you had him wlel trained to your techniques
    Flights booked for 24th March 2008!
    Landed in Wellington 26th March 2008!!

    Job Offer Received 9th July 2008!

    Temp Work Permit application submitted 11th July 2008!
    Temp Work Permit approved 4th August 2008!

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    EOI Selected 16th July 2008!
    EOI 'Successful' 1st August 2008!
    ITA Received 8th August 2008!
    ITA Aplication accepted 26th September!

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    I think parents of older kids coming from the UK should be a little more scruitinous of the youth here (without being judgemental!). Although mostly theres no harm in any of them, the young folk are certainly much 'younger' than the UK kids. Having met some of Laurens friends who I believe are between 16 and 20, you'd think most were about 12 by comparison. It seems to take kids a lot longer to grow up here, and while thats a good thing in many respects, when you start putting immaturity behind the wheel of a car and allow the involvement of alcohol in their lives, it often leads to problems!

    Perhaps thats just my experience, Dawn has had a lot more to do with the younguns than me, having a similar aged daughter.

    Must take my serious head off I think, thats 3 straight laced posts in a row now!
    Taffy

    The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.

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