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Thread: Confused!

  1. #1
    ShellBda's Avatar
    ShellBda is offline Oh Masterful One
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    May 2007

    Default Confused!

    Hello there,

    I have just finished a whirlwind week with the World Rugby Classic. The Classic All Blacks (the "old" guys) made it to the final but unfortunately lost to South Africa. Needless to say between the late night functions, games and general nonsence, I am exhausted. I had a few tipsy nights and it takes me days to recover from one tipsy night. It was great catching up with old friends from New Zealand. A few are ex-All Blacks and one of them I have known for 16 years and is one of my oldest friends.

    Back to the title of my thread, without giving out an explanation which is not mine to give, it looks like I will be heading to NZ next year by myself (with my son who will be 2 1/2 at that time). I am really not sure how I am going to manage this. I will have enough funds to carry me for awhile, 2 years minimum salary should do it but beyond that I don't have a clue what to do when I walk out of the airport!

    I am going to be alone in a different country with a toddler. Never driven a car anywhere other than Bermuda (35km speed limit). I have no desire to find a job in Auckland so I probably should leave Auckland immediately and head ??????

    My choice for work and life is Hamilton, Hawkes Bay Area (not sure about jobs there) and Palmerston North.

    How should I plan my first few weeks in NZ? What do I do first? I know I will need babysitters - maybe I should hire a nanny temporarily to stay with us fr the first month or two? Do I drive to Hamilton first or Hawkes Bay? Do I look for work immediately?

    I keep thinking about everything and my mind gets so muddled. I am sure it is the fear and anxiety about being on my own (never mind flying down there - yet again but with "running man" (my son).

    I can't wait beyond next year to move to NZ. If I am going to make this move then I need to stick to my original plan or it will never happen. I also have a few years on BermyGirl and will lose points for my age within 2 years. I can't keep making decisions based on what others are doing or want me to do. I have to do this for myself and my son but can I realistically do it on my own?

    Sorry to return to the forum with such a downer of a thread. Appreciate any advice or "instructions"; a daily schedule would be nice

    By the way, I am still waiting for my course results. Shouldn't be much longer. I need to pass this course in order to get a level 5 diploma which will give me 50 points towards my Immigration application. Then I just need a job offer (outside of Auckland) to total about 115 points for an EOI. Low, yes but I am hoping this will be more than enough.

    Ciao for now,
    God determines who walks into your's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

  2. #2
    MotherBear's Avatar
    MotherBear is offline The missing link
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    Jan 2005
    currently Ras al Khaimah, UAE, ex Wales, UK
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    seems like it's been a week of dramatic turnarounds in the immigration stakes.

    I can quite understand how you feel, Shell. Any adventure is all the better when it's shared with someone else and that someone else is your best friend. It would have been ideal to have the 2 of you (well, 4, actually) setting of for pastures new, but looks like it's not to be. So, what's to do about it? That's quite a big subject.

    Perhaps a good thing before you hit NZ would be to book up accommodation ahead in Auckland for just a few days so that you've got somewhere to aim for and somewhere you can unwind after the trip and sleep off any jetlag. I guess the first thing you need to concentrate on is getting a job if you haven't already found one prior to arriving. Once you have one you will at least know where you'll be heading for. If it's Hamilton, you'll have a ready-made clique of friends from here to lean on who can take you by the hand and lead you...........God only knows where . If you are heading to Palmerston North you have a house there (although I don't know the current situation with that) which would possibly give you a base. You have the choice of either working from a base or touring around various places to look for work.

    Before you set out for NZ, I think I'd be scanning online job agents (see NZ Website List on here) and newspaper ads to see if you can get any job interviews lined up. You could also look through Yellow Pages to see if there are any companies similar to that which you're working in now. Then give them a ring or drop them an email to ask if they have any vacancies in your line, mentioning that you're coming to NZ imminently. They might ask if you already have a WP, but that's daft because you need a job offer before you can apply for one. This is just a tactic used by some companies to try to put you off.

    If you landed in NZ without a job to go to it might be an idea to tour around the various places you have in mind to settle and buy the local papers (after finding out which days they run job adverts). Make a little holiday out of it. How would you be with driving a campervan? Wouldn't need to be too big for just you and Haydn. That would give you the freedom to roam around at will. Alternatively you could hire a car and stay at motels or holiday parks where there are cabins.

    If you don't want to look for work in Auckland, Hamilton might be a good option as it's a city, unlike the Hawkes Bay area and jobs could be more plentiful. I believe you've already contacted New Life NZ, so I guess it's up to you whether you progress further with them. Until you find a job your life won't have any sense of direction so, once you do find one, you should find other things fall into place then. You'll know where you're going to settle and can progress things like finding somewhere to live and researching childcare options.

    At the moment it's a bit difficult for us to guide you in a definite way because we (like you) haven't a clue where you're heading, so this is what I would suggest (and it is only a suggestion):

    Prebook accommodation in or around Auckland for when you first arrive to give you time to readjust and collect your thoughts.

    Get a NZ mobile phone number so that you can call friends from this forum who may volunteer to give out their numbers if you beat them around the head with a cricket bat and, most importantly, potential employers and job agents can keep in touch with you wherever you are. Maintaining contact with people in NZ will prevent you feeling cut off and alone.

    If you want to get out of Auckland, the nearest place would be Hamilton and I'm sure you'd get a lot of advice about the area and some friendly faces to help you along. Hamilton is your safety net at the moment and, being fairly central is a good starting point. You know people and you have contacts there .

    Start your job search a.s.a.p. because, once you come up with an offer, your life will start to take shape. You'll meet people at your new company and who knows where that will lead once you mention you're looking for somewhere to stay and someone to take care of Haydn.

    Apart from all this, I would point out that there are resettlement services available that help to ease folks into their new lives in NZ, but, of course, you'd need to know where you were going first so that you could be put in touch with someone in the relevant area. And they cost.

    I don't think you need to plan beyond that because life has a habit of sweeping one along once the wheels are set in motion. Don't clutter your thoughts with too much detail and just focus on one step at a time. It's no good having a fantastic plan all laid out before you reach NZ because fate has a habit of taking the steering wheel out of your hands somewhere along the line. Just plan for the first week and then go with the flow. The upshot will be that you'll come out of this a lot stronger and more confident in your own abilities.

    Missvee made a similar move with only her daughter for company and felt a bit isolated as well as having problems with the care of her daughter while she was working. Unfortunately, being a nurse working shifts, it doesn't allow for much socialising and it would be more difficult to find childcare to cover unsociable hours, so that was a bit of a disadvantage. Justnozi also went to NZ completely on her own, but we haven't heard from her for quite a while so can't comment on how she's doing.

    You know we're here for you if you want to talk things over, so see how you feel about my sketch of a plan and come back so we can fine tune it. Hope I haven't rambled too much and confused you more than ever.
    Mother Bear

    Try to bloom wherever you are planted.

  3. #3
    ebianca's Avatar
    ebianca is offline Gingery, Peppery & Spicy
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    Well MB your Facebook title I gave you (she who has all the answers) is rather approriate today.

    Well Shell- i'm sure you will do fine going to NZ on your own- you really want to do it and you seem like a very capable and strong woman- i'm sure you will be just fine. MB has given some great advise there and seen as we haven't made the move yet I suppose I can't be of much help as regards to practical advise but as MB says- once you find a job and the area you want to settle i'm sure verything else will start falling into place.

    Chin up- all will be well in the end.

    Hope your results come through as what you are hoping for.

    Flights booked for 24th March 2008!
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  4. #4
    ShellBda's Avatar
    ShellBda is offline Oh Masterful One
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    May 2007


    Thank you MB and Ebianca. I can always count on you and the forum to bring a little calm to otherwise choppy seas!

    What you have said make sense and quite honestly if I had been able to get past the anxiety that was causing my brain freeze I would have realized how to plan at least my first few weeks in NZ.

    I have spoken to my mother and asked her if she would be willing to fly to NZ with me and I would pay for her ticket. She keeps asking me if it would be a vacation for her or if she would spend her time babysitting and at first it made me a bit upset that she would think about herself and how she spends her vacation time but I realized that it is also a long trip for her and that she would be leaving us there when the time came to return home. I think that is what was bothering her the most. I did tell her that while I would need her help with Hayden and there would be times when I would need her to watch him, I would also need to sightsee and experience more than I did on my last trip. I really just wanted someone to be there and give me emotional support and yes, help me with my son at least until I settle.

    I do believe Hamilton is going to be my first option. Yes, my forum friends that live there play a big part in pulling me in that direction but I am more likely to find a job that I like, that pays what I need to earn and is a lovely area from the little that I have seen so far. I will definitely be using NewLife NZ. I have a great amount of confidence not only in their ability to help me but also in their desire to help me (as long as it doesn't cost me my second born!).

    I am nervous about driving - car or campervan! Not so much on the 2 lane roads because apart from the speed limit there is not much of a difference between driving in Bermuda and NZ. It is the motorways and navigating through the cities. I am sure however that I will figure it out.

    I will definitely need to stay in Auckland a few days to work out the kinks and jet lag and meet up with a few old friends that live there. Is there an alternative driving route from Auckland to Hamilton that will circumvent the motorway? Please say yes....

    Our house in Palmerston is rented at the moment. The problem is the rent contributes to the mortgage and Bermygirl and I split the difference. I would love to be able to move into the house and pay my 1/2 of the mortage but then Bermygirl would have to pay a bit more each month while I am living there. A bit complicated but that would be the only way as I cannot afford to pay the monthly rent that we are bringing in AND my half of the mortage. As it is, I will have to pay rent for a 2 bedroom somewhere else and my 1/2 of the remaining mortgage. This will definitely put a strain on things for a while. Unless we sell and make a profit...

    All that said, I still want to move to NZ next year - I am looking at flying in in October 08. I am working on a new office building project for my company and handling all of the interior fit-out design and working with the contractors - my first love and I don't think I could leave them with the project unfinished. Move in is scheduled for Sept. 08. I am flying to Toronto in a few weeks to meet with office wall and partitioning manufacturers.

    Thanks again and will stay in touch more.

    God determines who walks into your's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.


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