Guide to Political Correctness

We haven't had any rants about PC-ness for a while. If you're still unsure of your terminology, swot up here.

A Criminal - unsavory character
A Crook - morally (ethically) challenged
Abortion - Near-Life Experience
Alcoholic - Anti-Sobriety Activist
Alive - temporarily metabolically abled.
An Immigrant - a newcomer
Assassination - involuntary term limitation
Bald - comb-free
Bald - folically independent
Bald - follicularly challenged.
Battle Fatigued - shellshocked
Blind - optically darker
Blind - photonically non-receptive
Blind - visually challenged
Body Odor - nondiscretionary fragrance.
Broken Down Automobile - mechanically challenged
Broken Home - Dysfunctional Family
Bum - Displaced Homeowner
Bum - Homeless Person
Bum - Involuntarily Domiciled
Cannibalism - Intra-Species Dining
Censorship - Selective Speech
Cheating - Academic Dishonesty
China - Porcelain
Chronically Late - Temporarily Challenged
Clumsy - uniquely coordinated
Commercial Fisherman - Flipper Whipper
Computer Illiterate - Technologically Challenged
Corpse - Permanently Static Post-Human Mass
Corpse / Stiff - Metabolically Challenged
Corpse / Stiff - Terminally Inconvenienced
Cowardly - Challenge Challenged
Cowboys - bovine control officers
Crackpot - certified astrological consultant, certified crystal therapist, or certified past-life regression hypnotist
Crime Rate - street activity index
Dead - Actuarially Mature
Dead - biologically challenged
Dead - environmentally correct human
Dead - living impaired
Dead - metabolically challenged
Dead - persons living with entropy
Deaf - Visually Oriented
Delicatessen - Corpse Farm
Dirty Old Man - sexually focused chronologically gifted individual
Dish Washer - utensil sanitizer
Dishonest - Ethically disoriented.
Dorm - Residence Hall
Drooling Drunk Idiot - person on floor
Drowning - aquatically challenged
Drug Addict - Chemically Challenged
Drunk - spacially perplexed
Drunk / Junkie - in recovery
Earthquake - geological correction
Fail - achieve a deficiency.
Fat - Differently Weighted
Fat - gravitationally challenged
Fat - horizontally challenged.
Fat - horizontally gifted
Fat - People of Mass
Fat - person of substance
Fictional / Mythological - ontologically challenged
Freshman - first-year student
Frog - amphibian American
Full of Crap - fecally plenary
Gang - Youth Group
Garbage Man - sanitation engineer
Gas Station Attendent - petroleum transfer technician
Geek, Nerd, whatever... - socially challenged
Ghetto / Barrio - Ethnically Homogenous Area
Hamburger - Seared Mutilated Animal Flesh
Handicapped - Differently Abled, Handi-Capable
Having PMS - cyclically challenged
Hearing Person - temporarily aurally abled
Homeless - outdoor urban dwellers
Homeless - residentially flexible
Homelessness - Mortgage-Free Living
Housebroken - Family Disfunction
Housewife - domestic engineer
Hunter - Animal Assassin
Hunter - Bambi Butcher
Hunter - Meat Mercenary
Ignorant - factually unencumbered
Ignorant - knowledge-based nonpossessor.
Incompetent - Differently Qualified
Incompetent - Specially Skilled
Incompetent - Uniquely Proficient
Insane People - Mental Explorers
Insane People - Selectively Perceptive
Insult - Emotional Rape
Janitor - sanitation engineer
Klutz - kinesthetically challenged
Large Nose - nasally gifted
Lazy - motivationally dispossessed
Lazy - motivationally deficient.
Learning Disability - Self-Paced Cognitive Ability
Library - Educational Resource Center
Logger - Wood Weasel
Logger - Paper Pirate
Logger -Treeslayer
Loser - Second Place
Loser - uniquely fortuned individual on an alternative career path
Man-hole - maintenance hole
Mankind - humankind
MANkind, HuMAN, PerSON - Earth Children
Mercy Killing - Euthanasia
Mercy Killing - Putting Down/To Sleep/Out of Misery
Messy - differently organized
Meter Maid - Parking enforcer
Midget / Dwarf - Little People
Midget / Dwarf - Vertically Challenged
Mute/Dumb - verbally challenged
Not with somebody at the moment - romantically challenged

Off - energy-efficient
Old - chronologically gifted
Old Person / Elderly - Gerontologically Advanced
Old Person / Elderly - Senior Citizens
Panhandler - Unaffiliated applicant for private-sector funding.
Paper Bag - processed tree carcass
Perverted - Sexually dysfunctional.
Pimp-mobile / Low-rider - Culturally Responsive Transportation Option
Plagiarism - Previously Owned Prose
Po' - financially inept
Policeman, Policewoman - law inforcement officer
Poor - economically marginalized
Poor - Economically Unprepared
Poor - monetarily challenged
Postman - letter carrier
Pregnant - parasitically oppressed.
Prisoner - client of the correctional system
Prostitute - sex care provider
Psychobabble - constructivist feminist psychotherapy
Psychopath - socially misaligned
Racist - genetically discriminating
Really Big Nosed - nasally disadvantaged
Redneck - person of region
Redneck - rustically inclined
Refugees - asylum seekers
Road Kill - Vehicularly Compressed Maladapted Life Form
Rudeness - Tact Avoidance
Runny Nose - nasally gifted
Senile Bag o' Bones - Alzheimer's Victim
Serial-Killer - Person with difficult-to-meet needs.
Shoplifter - Cost-of-Living Adjustment Specialist
Short - vertically challenged
Sighted Person - temporarily visually abled
Slum - Economic Oppression Zone
Slut - suffering from a sex addiction (female)
Someone who has no other reason to park in a handicapped zone - morally handicapped
Spendthrift - negative saver.
Stained - creatively re-dyed
Steward, Stewardess - flight attendant
Stoned - Chemically inconvenienced.
Stud - suffering from a sex addiction (male)
Stupid - differently-brained
Stupid - intellectually impaired
The Elderly - Senior citizens
Thin - horizontally challenged
Thirsty - osmotically challenged
Tone Deaf - musically delayed
Too old/young - other aged
Too Tall - people of height
Tree-Hugger - environmental activist
Trees - Oxygen Exchange Units
Ugly - aesthetically challenged
Ugly - Cosmetically different.
Ugly - facially challenged
Unemployed - Involuntarily leisured.
Used Books - Recycled Books
Vagrant - Nonspecifically destinationed individual.
Vegetable - noble unconscious hero
Vice President - Post-Coronary Leader of the Free World
Vocal Minority - target equity group
Vomiting - Unplanned Reexamination of Recent Food Choices
Waiter, Waitress - food server
War-Monger - Peacekeeper, patriot
Welfare Bum - economically disadvantaged
Whaler - Blubber Lover
White - melanin-impoverished
White American - racially challenged
White Boy - rhythmically challenged
White Trash - caucasian culturally-disadvantaged
Wife - unpaid sex slave
Worst - least best.
Wrong - differently logical.