Man drought

[Dawn]

My beautiful 15 yr old daughter has yet to have a serious boyfriend. She's dumped the three she's had within a week or so because they were just either too boring, too 'dipstick' or just too controlling. The boys either find her intriguing or just too mature and a bit scary. She's a strong young woman, with her own mind and I was thoroughly hoping she might find a good sort over in NZ. ;) Someone a bit wild and windswept who would encourage her to open her mind to new things, throw caution to the wind a little and let her hair down as she is a bit of a 'safe-sitter'. She likes things familiar, hence the dilemma facing her about coming in the first place.

I guess those NZ rugby players just threw me off track a little, bet they're the ones that are already taken eh? :(

[MotherBear]

Oh, so that?s what?s happened to all the men! Tut tut! You're better off without this sort, ladies.

Kiwis cash in on Indian brides
10 December 2006
By NICOLA BOYES

Dowries could become illegal in this country following reports of New Zealand men travelling to India for arranged marriages and extorting cash from their in-laws. The Ministry of Women's Affairs has been asked by its minister Lianne Dalziel and Immigration Minister David Cunliffe to investigate how widespread the problem is.

Shakti Migrant Services Trust which runs an Asian women's refuge and offers support and counselling, says it has been dealing with Indian families stripped of up to $60,000, and the men involved demanding more money from families once they returned to New Zealand with their new wives.

New Zealand-born Indian men, or those with residency, were travelling to India for arranged marriages. The women's families were paying for elaborate weddings and often selling property to pay for a large dowry.

Once married, the men returned to New Zealand with their new wives, sponsoring them into the country on visitor visas and then demanding more money from their families in India. When the money dried up, or their wives tried to escape harassment or abuse surrounding the demands, the men were withdrawing their sponsorship. "They harass her and put pressure on her," said Shakti national co-ordinator Shila Nair.

In one recent case a woman's family paid a $60,000 dowry. After the couple arrived in New Zealand, the man started demanding more money and physically abusing her. When the money did not come, he withdrew his sponsorship. The woman returned to India last week.

Most marriages are not registered in India, resulting in women having no legal proof of their marriage. They come to New Zealand on a visitors' visa under the culturally arranged marriage policy.

Last financial year, 228 women arrived in New Zealand under that category, up from 106 in 2003/2004. Since 2003, 732 women have come into New Zealand under the policy.

The National Commission for Women in India, set up in 1992 to deal with women's issues, has been fighting for marriages to be registered so women have legal proof and although the giving or taking of dowry was made illegal in India in 1961, it is still a widespread practice.

Between April 2003 and 2004 the commission received 362 complaints about suspected dowry deaths (women allegedly murdered after being married for their dowry). There were 902 complaints about families harassed for dowry. Most cases still went unreported, said Nair. "It has been made illegal, but it is policed only if complaints are made."

The commission was also dealing with New Zealand men travelling to India to wed, taking their new wife's dowry and then leaving her behind. The women were condemned or blamed for being part of a failed marriage, she said.

Their prospects of remarriage were virtually nil, the woman is considered damaged goods and her family is left unable to pay another dowry for her. "They are considered loose women, damaged."

The problem was more prolific among American and Canadian men, but Nair said New Zealand men were also culprits. Cunliffe said dowry abuse had been brought to his attention only recently.

Immigration policy currently covered migrant women who had suffered in domestic violence situations in New Zealand. If it was proved a woman was a victim of a violent partner, a work permit or a resident's permit could be issued without the sponsorship of her husband or partner.

In the past five years, 41 women have been given resident permits under this category and 58 have been given work permits. All of the men who sponsored these women have been banned for life from sponsoring another woman into New Zealand.

- Sunday Star Times

[selchie]

Grrrr. I hate it when people prey on and abuse others. I think it's a great idea to ban dowries. ...With men like that, I could get used to a drought.

[MotherBear]

3000 men on migrant blacklist
By NICOLA BOYES | Sunday, 17 December 2006

More than 3000 New Zealand men have been blacklisted by the Department of Labour, banned from sponsoring women into the country on visitor visas after abusing them or dodging immigration rules.

The worst offenders by ethnicity were New Zealand nationals, with 767 men banned from bringing women into the country, followed by Indian nationals with 549 men banned since 2001.

The alerts are placed in the system for reasons such as a partner overstaying or not meeting the requirements of the partnership policy, and men abusing their partners.

Dowry abuse among the Indian community is an emerging problem in New Zealand and the Ministry of Women's Affairs has been asked to undertake research following reports of men extorting their in-laws and abusing their partners.

The men marry in India, sponsor their brides into New Zealand, demand more money from their in-laws and withdraw their sponsorship when the money dries up.

Immigration Minister David Cunliffe and Women's Affairs Minister Lianne Dalziel have asked for the research - including views on whether to make dowry illegal.
Cunliffe said the department was also reviewing areas of the family sponsorship policy which would be ready to be put before cabinet next year.

Shakti Migrant Services Trust national co-ordinator Shila Nair said the women were often abused mentally and physically.

Immigration policy covers migrant women who have suffered domestic violence. If it was proved a woman was the victim of a violent partner, a work permit or a resident's permit could be issued without her husband's sponsorship.

In the past five years, 41 women have been given residents permits and 59 work permits.

Nair said the re-victimisation of going through the process meant many women returned to India where their prospects were grim. They were considered "damaged goods" and left to marry much older men or not re-marry at all.

She said the figures backed up the numbers of women Shakti was seeing in ethnic women's refuges.

The figures, obtained under the Official Information Act, show that since 2001, 3038 men have been banned from sponsoring women into New Zealand. The third highest ethnicity was Chinese nationals with 332 men banned, followed by Fijian men, with 290 men banned.

Nair said she was aware of Fijian Indian men who had sponsored a number of brides into New Zealand, taken their dowry and then withdrawn their sponsorship. "There are some who have done it five times. It's like a business."

[MotherBear]

Shortage of males very real
Wednesday December 27, 2006
By Mike Dinsdale

It's official. There's a serious subject that could be troubling the women of Northland - there's a man drought, with nearly 2800 fewer men than women in the region.

The so-called "man drought" has been the stuff of rumour and urban legend for years now, but the 2006 Census results show that the fears of eligible women around the region have been confirmed - there are just not enough men to go around.

Statistics NZ has released the Census results, which give a snapshot of the make- up of our country on the night the information was collected - March 7. The Census shows that the population of Northland has grown by 5.9 per cent since 2001, up from 140,133 residents to 148,470.

Nationally the population increased by 7.8 per cent to 4,027,947. The Whangarei District was well ahead of the national average, with growth of 9.4 per cent, from 68,094 to 74,463. The Far North went from 54,576 to 55,845 (2.3 per cent) and the Kaipara from 17,460 to 18,132 (3.8 per cent).

But one of the biggest surprises is how big the gap between the sexes is in the region, with the figures verifying that the man drought is very much real. There are 35,367 men in Northland between the ages of 20 and 59 compared with 38,152 women - a shortfall of 2785 men.

The situation's not so bad for youngsters, with males outnumbering females in all age groups below the age of 20. But once past 20 Northland's men are getting thinner on the ground.

The man drought is at its sharpest in Whangarei District, where there are 19,368 women between 20 and 59 compared to 17,784 men - a shortfall of 1584. Things are slightly better in the Far North, which has 14,223 women, compared with 13,152 men - 1071 fewer. In the Kaipara there's a man shortage of 130, with 4561 women in the district compared to 4431 men.

In both Whangarei and the Far North the age group with the largest shortfall was from 35 to 44, with 684 and 528 less men respectively. However, in the Kaipara the age group the largest shortfall was from 25 to 34, where there are 87 fewer men than women.

But women wanting to find that one true love can't just move to another part of the country in the search - the man drought is nationwide. Census figures show the gap between the sexes is widening, with women nationally outnumbering men by 96,700 compared with 91,266 in the 2001 Census. The biggest gap is in the 35-39 age group where women outnumber men by 15,552 (compared with 12,105 in 2001).

Meet Di. She's sassy, strong-minded and is at the sharp end of Northland's man drought. Di's been single for eight years and is still searching for the right man. But while she admits to periods of being dateless, she's far from desperate and is determined not to drop her standards in the search for love.

Di has known there's a man drought for a few years now, but even she was shocked to find out just how big the gap is in her age group. "Crikey," the Whangarei mother said, when informed that there were 267 fewer males than females in her 45-49 age group in Northland.

"You've got to remember that guys these days in that age group seem to want to go out with women in the younger age groups than themselves. I don't want to have to look in the older age groups - I won't go for a guy 10 years older than me."

Part of the problem, Di says, could be that blokes realise they have a wide field to choose from and take things for granted. "I'm reasonably fit, but there's a lot of guys out there that don't do anything (exercise)," she said.

"Maybe they realise there's a bit of a man shortage and don't think they have to look after themselves as much. Some have the attitude that they just want a one night stand, but I'm not like that.

"Others seem to just want a woman who will look after them, make the breakfast and do the washing up and that, while they sit around doing nothing - some of their expectations are a bit unrealistic."

Di also bemoans the lack of "social skills" among many Northland men. "One guy rang me up asking me out for a dinner date. He took me to the local fish-and- chip shop. That's dead romantic. Another guy asked me out for coffee so I met him at the Town Basin and all he did was talk for an hour - and I didn't even get a cup of coffee, despite several cafes nearby."

Di readily admits though that she may not be sending out the "right" signals: "I don't flirt, I don't believe in that. I believe in letting people know exactly how you think, then there can be no confusion. "She also has a message for other women in her position - sometimes you need to look closer to home than you think.

"There was a guy I know from soccer but I didn't know he was single, then when I went to Dinner for Six (a dinner-date set-up) he was there." Nothing came of the liaison but they have become friends.

Di's tried the dinner group, internet, blind dates, you name it - but she's still searching. Part of the problem, she admits, is that what she is looking for may not actually exist.

"He's got to be funny, with a good sense of humour, he's had to have dealt with all his baggage from the past, he's got to keep himself fit. Somebody who can keep up with a strong- willed woman, and he's got to be house-trained. "He's got to be sharing, rather than competitive with me. And he's got to be honest - 110 per cent honest."

[MotherBear]

Man drought: Odds are good, but the goods are odd
5:00AM Wednesday July 04, 2007
By Derek Cheng



The man drought doesn't seem to be getting worse...but is it quantity or quality that counts?

The latest population trend is good news for eligible bachelorettes: the man drought doesn't appear to be getting any worse.

The 2006 census figures show little change in the sex ratio - the number of men per 100 women - which remained steady from 2001 about 95 men to 100 women.

At the Population Association of NZ conference in Wellington yesterday, demography analyst Robert Didham warned that was unlikely to have an effect on the quality of available men.

He cited reports of women lamenting not a lack of men, but a lack of suitable men, and noted a similar sentiment in Alaska, where men greatly outnumber women. "Somebody had quipped that the odds are good, but the goods are odd," Mr Didham said.

The buck in the trend is the first sign of a reprieve from the male-female imbalance, which had been growing since 1970 when the proportion of men to women was about the same.

While the trend had abated, or perhaps stopped, the reality remained that there were more men than women in New Zealand, particularly in the mid-20s to 49 age bracket.

Statistics NZ demographer Denise McGregor said migration played a part, though the latest figures showed a "babe-bonanza" (more women than men entering New Zealand) rather than a "man-drought" (more men than women leaving New Zealand).

"Some of it is migration, some of it is men dying at different rates to women, and some of it is due to the fact that men are more under-counted than women in the Census," Ms McGregor said.

She said the reasons were also regional, from urban and rural push and pull factors, to matters such as Otorohanga having a huge prison population.

New Zealand's situation is not unique: the UK, Australia and Canada have similar sex ratios.

The odds

* Largest imbalances - men outnumber women
Chatham Islands 128 men to 100 women
Otorohanga 115:100
Southland 110:100

* Women outnumber men
Kapiti Coast 87:100
Tauranga 92:100
Horowhenua 92:100
* Auckland
North Shore, Waitakere, Aucklandand Manukau 97m:100w

* National average 95m:100w

From here .