Stick it where the light doesn't shine

[color=olive:79843d0146][b:79843d0146]Prisoner has lightbulb removed from anus[/b:79843d0146][/color:79843d0146]
30 June 2006

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MULTAN: Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus. On Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-bearded man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.

"We had to take it out intact," said Dr Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

"When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said. "I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."

The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.
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Reminds me of an incident when I worked in a hospital (housekeeping). a coworker was working in the OR, so got the story from the nurses. Long story short, the man had a small zucchini up his anus (with spiny stem!). He had first told the ER docs that it was a shot glass, which he had accidentally sat on in a bar (without pants on???). Oh well, the things people will do for a thrill.