Sorry its a blonde joke

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.
He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok.
She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

despicable

you and your spelling mistakes Stevey.

it's

h i l a r i o u s...

not dispicable!!!

Look, I can change it to Irish if you want, but I find that I can laugh at jokes about women with blonde hair because at least they have hair.

My hair care is from the Mr Sheen range.

Balding & proud!! Power to the slap heads!!

OK - will make it more PC.....

This lady with "light to fair hair" wakes up with her house on fire and phones the fire brigade

FAIR HAIRED LADY---"Come quickly, my house is on fire...get round here now, quickly"

FIREMAN---"No problem madam...how do we get there?"


FAIR HAIRED LADY--- "DDDDUURRR, H-E-L-L-O!!! IN THE BIG RED TRUCK THING WITH THE LADDER ON THE TOP!!"

that reminds me of the one about the bloke listening to a radio and there's a traffic buletin..
saying that there is somebody driving the wrong way up the M1...

he knows is FAIR to LIGHT HAIRED wife is going to Leeds for the day so he calls her on her mobile..

He says.." Watch yourself babe, theres an idiot driving the wrong way up the motorway.."

She says.." there's more than one of them..."

Oh Jesus here we go....

Did you hear about the light to fair haired lady who thought Hertz Van Rental was a Dutch footballer?

Or her equally fair haired friend who went to the doctors with burned and blistered feet.....she said she had a tinned sponge pudding for her supper and it said "Stand in boiling water before eating" on the top of the tin.

I think they will start to gang up on us soon...once they figure out how to turn their computers on. I expect incoming at any time mate..............

1. Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.
2. Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck & the noose.
3. Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.
4.How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there & waits for the world to revolve around him.
OR. Three - one to screw in the bulb, two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
5. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.
6. Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath &
calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
7. Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A.Because not one will stop and ask directions.
8. Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts
9. Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
10. Q: What is the difference between men and women...
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
11. Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
12. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

Some Advice About Men

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.

14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

FINDING IT HARD TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT? ...NOT ANYMORE!!!!

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED CITIZEN.

2. She is not BLONDE - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

3. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is A PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

4. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

5. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

6. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

7. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

8. She does not have PREMIER LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
?

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID STORAGEFACILITY

2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not GET LOST - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He is GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL.

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.