The reason for NZ's low crime rate

[jamesthecarman]

We all know NZ is a lovely place with a pretty stinkin low crime place.

And London has a high crime rate.

Why? Is it the people? The population per square whatever?

Nah.

It's all about sheep.

That's right, another announcement from your resident political party, "al sheepa" (by the way, we have a website now..... www.alsheepa.co.nz)

So how exactly do sheep deter crime?

It's really quite elementary my dear Sheeptson.

The higher the rate of sheep per capita, the lower the crime rate.

[b:d88d4043cd]Sheep absorb the negative energies of the criminal world, and thus people don't act out in a criminal manner[/b:d88d4043cd]

NZ has lots of sheep. Somewhere between 14 and 20 per person, though no one knows exactly.

London? I think there are 2 sheep in the entire city, and they are stuffed, in a museum.

Do the math anywhere in the world and you will realise this "shee-quation" shows us the truth. Maybe not the meaning of life, but at least the truth about crime.

You may have heard of [b:d88d4043cd]Feng Shui[/b:d88d4043cd].....well, that's bologne. [b:d88d4043cd]F'eng Sheep[/b:d88d4043cd] is what it's all about!!!

Not only can you make money off sheep, they also keep crime to a minimum. They've even been known to cheer up a depressed farmer now and then.

[i:d88d4043cd]This message was brought to you by James bin Carman. Party vote "[u:d88d4043cd]al Sheepa[/u:d88d4043cd]" in 2008[/i:d88d4043cd]
[size=1:d88d4043cd]bin Carman, bin Gump, and Betsy.....For the sheep....offices: New Zealand[/size:d88d4043cd]

[MotherBear]

[quote:6b991944db="jamesthecarman"]The higher the rate of sheep per capita, the lower the crime rate. [/quote:6b991944db]

Wales should be OK then. [img:6b991944db]http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/tier/ssheep.gif[/img:6b991944db]

[img:6b991944db]http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/flagge/wales.gif[/img:6b991944db]

[SteveyC]

Yeah doesn't really explain merthyr, cardiff, swansea and newport tho really :107: :120:

[moggy]

This is what happens when you don't have sheep :icon_wink: :icon_mrgreen: :icon_mrgreen:


Extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post:

"A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.

"The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him," said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw." Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.

Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me."

He repeated the ra pe allegation at the police station and added "The dog pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.

His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.

Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be ******ed by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness.

[MotherBear]

[img:83f4993dc7]http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/more/bigs/c025.gif[/img:83f4993dc7] [img:83f4993dc7]http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/more/bigs/c028.gif[/img:83f4993dc7]

I once knew someone who's neighbour (female) was guilty of such an act, but, the way I heard it, they were both willing parties - no mention of rape. It think it was a rottweiler, so she must have been pretty confident that it was harmless to have chanced her arm (or anything else) with it at such close quarters.

[jamesthecarman]

[quote:0a9315ea23="SteveyC"]Yeah doesn't really explain merthyr, cardiff, swansea and newport tho really :107: :120:[/quote:0a9315ea23]
Imagine how bad they'd be if they didn't have sheep!!!! :icon_eek: :icon_eek:

(note: I've only heard of two of those places before. Cardiff (is there a soccer team there?) and Newport....though maybe it's Newport in one of the states I've heard of :icon_eek: )

[SteveyC]

hehe nowt to know they're all holes. Cardiff is the capital city of Wales. Newport is a large city next door to Cardiff. Swansea is a fairly large place renowned for not being very nice and Merthyr Tydfil is arguably the worse town in western UK.

[Welshgirl]

Careful on the Cardiff dissing Stevey, or I'll be recalling all my good vibes to you about your house sale :icon_mad:

Mae Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau....... etc etc

[jamesthecarman]

[quote:8b1e35491e="Welshgirl"]Careful on the Cardiff dissing Stevey, or I'll be recalling all my good vibes to you about your house sale :icon_mad:

Mae Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau....... etc etc[/quote:8b1e35491e]
AH HA!!! That's where the All Blacks just played. They beat someone. I can't remember who....Chelsea United? :icon_cool:

[SteveyC]

[quote:0a89edf2fd="Welshgirl"]Careful on the Cardiff dissing Stevey, or I'll be recalling all my good vibes to you about your house sale :icon_mad:

Mae Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau....... etc etc[/quote:0a89edf2fd]

Ahhh come on....it's not great is it. All the WNA funding has helped and the Millenium stadim etc. The centres getting better year on year as well but there's some proper dodgy areas. It's not good enough for you anyway is it.