Well about bloody time

Well, well, just about vair nearly timely time for another bloggeroony Cor, it's been a while eh? I have been soooo busy that I have been forgetting to quando quando.

Well, life is just about as good as life gets I reckon apart from winning the lottery although, I wonder how many lottery winning people are still as unfulfilled and miserable as ever. Bet their perspective shifts from 'If I won the lottery my life would be so much better, I could have all the things I wanted', to, 'I've got everything I've ever wanted so why don't I feel happy and why do I feel like there's a big something missing?' Well, that's cause if it was missing without the money it'll still be missing with the money and no amount of money will make it unmissing and I am vair confused as to why people cannot understand this.

My thoughts are thus. What is prosperity? When you think of prosperity what does it mean to you? Wealth? Security? Enough cash to not have to worry? I am of the ilk that peeps get this one all the wrong way up and inside out. When you have carefully considered this question, start a post with the answer for methinks it would provoke a most interesting debate.

Taffy has died I think. WG keeps making excuses as to why I can't see him or talk to him or even, and this is the really freaky thing, contact him via telepathic communication or remote viewing. I don't know how she does this. She must have discovered his internal Sky satellite dish and draped something like a black material scrap over it, you know like people do with budgies when they want them to go to sleep. This is to simulate night, in the case of the budgie not in the case of Taf, in Taffy's case it's so he can't respond to my ESP probings. Maybe I am really, really right, maybe he is dead and in the wood-shed under a pile of logs or something and that is why I can only see black through his eyes! Maybe he is dead and under the bed covered in last seasons cast offs and unwashed tights in an attempt to make him look like the ironing pile. And yes! WG does iron her tights, she irons everything including her little G string thong knickers that frankly are dreadfully distasteful on a woman of her age! Or worse, he might just be nearly dead, unable to move, slipping in and out of consciousness, his last memory that of used gussets! WG! How could you! The Tafmeister! Our exalted leader! I know he drives a BMW but that is not reason enough to have done him in! How did you do it? I must know, for I can picture the blood-thirsty joy on your contorted face as you first bashed his head in with your iron and then dismembered him with your pizza wheel?. Please tell me you turned off the iron first for otherwise the smell of singed mousy hair will fill my nostrils from now until Domesday and I do not think that I can honestly take it! ? Or was it the vibrator thing? Yes, you heard it folks, they have a vibrator thing that sits in their front room for all to view. It does, I am told, provide them with hours of sensory pleasure. OH sinful, sinful, sinful ones! OK, I tried it once, but they thrust me into it with their hairy spade-like, ferret smelling hands! I really didn't like it at all. I thrashed about like a thrashing thrasher, kicking and screaming, gyrating my torso and trying unsuccessfully to get into the featal position as they stood around laughing evilly at me poo-stained panties...............I may have dreamed that actually but it still doesn't alter the fact that WG has done away with the Taf! A hunt must be mounted at once. Put out a 911 on all frequencies for a glowing being (for he is a demi-God after all).

Would angelic beings really glow? I wonder why they paint pictures of them glowing? Now, new age hippie types like me, may suggest that the golden glow about their heads is their radiant energy. The first chakra is at the top of the head where the skull fuses together and this, some say, is where the soul enters and leaves the body. Angels are of such brilliance and truth that their energy would be pure and so abundant that it would naturally spill out - I think this is a lovely explanation I think that if we could see energy, if everyone could see everyone else's energy, that it would be all different colours. I think that people who can see auras experience this but, I'm not sure your aura is quite the same as your life-force, your energy, your chi, I honestly don't know. Anyway, I don't know why, but I think mine would be purple. I would like to have someone read my aura but how would I know if they were telling me the truth coz it's not exactly the kind of thing that you're taught to do in the education system is it? 'Jenkins what is wrong with you? I'm trying to explain the economic outcomes of financial growth and domestic market up-turns and you seem to be in another world!' 'Well, I am in another world Sir, the world of auras, life-force and spiritual growth and I can see that your spiritual growth is stinted Sir. Your aura is patchy and dull in places, your energy is blocked and you're not channelling correctly!' 'My bloody what is a bloody what and I'm not bloody what-a-ling? Go and book an appointment with the educational psychologist Jenkins for yor brain is severely addled!'

I think it would be great if school taught our kids stuff like that. Emotional intelligence. I would be a teacher then. I used to think I might like to be a teacher but I would get the sack. I did a short stint as a 'tutor in the creative arts' for a C of E primary school in England a few years ago and it was short because I got the kids to ask questions about the bible and it's stories and really think for themselves whether they really believed the stories they were told. I asked them not to believe anything just because it was written in a book and I gave them the confidence to question things that they thought may not be true or that struck them as being odd. The head teacher didn't like it very much. I think her staff had to suddenly work a bit harder eh? Why do we just expect our kids to sit down, shut up and accept everything anyone in an educational setting tells them is the truth? What about what they think? What about their intuition? What about if they just accept stuff without question we are conditioning them to just go along with what anyone tells them to think or do? We need to make sure our kids question everything, they need to be able to rely solely on their own feelings, instincts and intuition. They need to remain true to themselves, otherwise they too will always have that empty feeling I mentioned earlier.

Ooooeeeerrrrrr I went all boring then. Sorry sorry sorry sozzingly sorry.

Anyway, my bloody back is killing me. I reckon I am getting too old for my highly physical life. I think I might be a yoga master next and calm it down a bit. I feel the need for harmony and balance in my life and the pull of yoga is quite strong actually. It's something I've always wanted to try. There is an Iyengar Yoga centre just round the corner from the studio I am dancing in at the moment so I am reckoning I will go and gerron a course for beginners there.

I am about to sign a new lease for a new studio! Well, I have a dream that this place will be a Cultural and Community Arts Centre. The building is 800sq m over three floors in the centre of the city. I'm having 2 studios on the 1st floor, a live music cafe/bar on the ground floor and a recording studio and band practice room in the basement. There's a courtyard outside that we will develop into an external performance space and a tree-lined boulevard where we will hold Sunday morning art markets and the like. It is going to be the best thing since sliced bread and I promise that I will not allow WG to perform her stripping and pole dancing act there. We do not want the likes of that lowering the tone of my highly cultural, ethnically correct, spiritual, chilling zone. She can only come if she promises to keep her clothes on and if she owns up to bashing in Taf and serves her time like a respectable criminal should.

I will post piccies of work in progress so watch this space. No, honest I will try and keep you up to date for I knowest that I am vair vair rubbish at this and have let you down in the past! I will try and recompense for my sins.

I am about to put Hamilton on the map folks