I read a news article some time ago where some Asians on tourist visas were working for someone for their board and keep, but no wages. They were caught out and I'm not sure that they weren't being deported, so you can see that INZ takes this sort of thing very seriously.
The only thing you can do, I guess, is try to reason with them. If you are engaged to your partner one would assume that you intend to marry him. You need to live together for a minimum of 12 months before he can sponsor you under the Partnership Policy so, being able to live together is vitally important to this issue. Explain that your end purpose is to marry your OH and live together legally in NZ but you can't comply with their requirements unless you're given the chance to be together and having a WHV will buy you enough time to do this. Your OH is a kiwi and it's feasible that he wants to have his fiancee with him. NZ badly wants its kiwis back home again where they belong, so make a case that he would only consider returning to NZ if he can be with you there. Maybe if INZ can see an end result i.e. you will marry him and want to stay in NZ the legal way and he will return to NZ (which is what they want) they might find it in their hearts to help you achieve this. It's not like you just want a WHV and that's that, you do have an end purpose in mind.
Good luck.
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Mother Bear 
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