Hi there, your husband can join you in the NZ passport queue even though he has a British passport - the first time I came to NZ with my husband, he went in the NZ passport queue and I went in the other passport queue, and both of us were told we should have gone in the NZ queue together, which is what we do now.
Although as you will have two toddlers with you, you will be able to go through the families queue, which is much quicker than both of the others (at Auckland, anyway - I don't know about the other airports).
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