Alright, lemme see here ...
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But it doesn't stop there. Environmentalists are also trying to alter Santa's image. The nine reindeer which pull Santa's sleigh through the sky would apparently emit methane with a global warming impact equivalent to about 40,600 tonnes of greenhouse gases - almost as much as a plane on a 122-million-mile trip. Thus, US scientists have come up with a new hybrid sleigh requiring only eight tiny reindeer, or modern hydrogen fuel cells, to power it along.
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Sad to see that some journalists in NZ are as stupid as the ones we have in the US. This poor fool has linked two unrelated sets of comments under the banner of environmentalists, because everyone knows that only crazy people want to protect the environment. The first is
some comments by an obscure British politician, Lib Dem Transport Spokesman Tom Brake. The source of the second? A tongue-in-cheek speech about
inspecting Santa's sleigh. Did this maroon think that
Bush pardoning the turkey before Thanksgiving was real, too?
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Santa has also found himself on the frontline of the war against obesity. British Santas have been told to set a good example for children by slimming down. One UK shopping centre has set up a boot camp to make its Santas "fitter and healthier".
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Notice the order in which the information is presented here. It's sort of an inverse pyramid. The one real example is presented at the bottom of the paragraph, after making it sound as though this is a wide-spread phenomenon. Truth is, the one example is the only example. (Go ahead,
google it yourself. All the articles out there read the same way.)
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It appears reason has prevailed on this issue locally - rumours one Westaff New Zealand client requested a "skinny Santa" for its mall were urban myth. "I haven't heard of that, no," a spokesman said with a laugh.
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One of the first rules I learned as a journalist: don't print stories that say 'rumor x isn't true' because people have a tendency to 1. only remember the rumor, not the denial and 2. think the rumor must be true, otherwise it wouldn't be a rumor. But, again, this article is about making people think there's a controversy where there isn't.
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But the traditional Santa Claus concept has changed in recent years.
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Well,
duh! The phrase 'traditional Santa Claus' is absolutely meaningless--made only more so by the phrase 'changed in recent years.' Does he mean
this Santa, or
this one, or
this one, or
this one ...
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Instructions for Westaff Santas on both sides of the Tasman include keeping their hands visible at all times - even wearing white gloves to facilitate this.
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Probably good advice for the protection of all involved, but haven't white gloves always been
part of the kit?
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They're also told not to promise gifts parents can't afford.
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Again, good advice which has probably been given to mall Santas for decades. Hasn't he always been rather non-committal about whether or not you were going to get that pony?
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Many malls or shops have customised sofa chairs to allow children to sit next to Santa instead of on his knee.
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Many? Three? Fifteen? 1,829?
Of course, this is another case of making an innocuous change seem sinister. It may be for liability reasons--and if so, not an unreasonable change to make. Or maybe it's just because they think that kids will be less likely to be scared sitting next to Santa rather than on his lap.
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They have also done away with the tradition of giving children lollies.
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Again, the omnipresent, omnipotent 'they' who ruin everything.
Even if it is true--and it may be--why not stop giving lollies, which some kids can't have, and start giving something like stickers, which all kids can enjoy?
Sorry, but all this 'War on Christmas Stuff' gets me riled.
