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Old 14-11-2007, 09:59 PM
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Glenda Glenda is offline
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Hi Nicky,

I do so hope things sort themselves out for you and your husband. It seems like a case of where he wanted you to be happy, but realised that no matter how pleased and excited you were, it was not rubbing off onto him.

I would like to give some sensible advice and insight but it is rather awkward considering my marriage broke up weeks after moving here after husband had a mid-life crisis, decided he wanted to stay in the UK and live life his own particular way.

Strangely, people think it was me who was the driving force to get our family out to NZ (having lived here in the past) but I was certain all along that he would not 'fit in' here, and that his domineering father would strongly object and make our lives hell. My own parents couldn't settle themselves all those years ago and for the sake of our marriage and children I was openly unenthusiastic. However, my attitude and the attitude of his father was oil on the fire and made him more than ever determined to emigrate.

If there is really no hope of him changing his mind, and you really do not (understandably) want to move on your own, then you must find some other change in your life to take the place of this lost dream ... another dream or aspiration (something you may have wanted to do but work/husband/kids meant it could not be) as I imagine you are quite happy with excitement and adventure and perhaps it is lacking at the moment.

Good luck!
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Glenda
In NZ since June 2005
Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness - Chinese proverb
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