Hi Bstar,
There's nothing abnormal about these feelings and they are experienced in all sorts of life situations, even getting married, where one is often leaving the security of the family home behind and venturing out into the unknown. I think it's quite rare for folks to set out on such a big life-changing journey as you are undertaking without some emotional upheaval and doubts. The best way to help overcome the panic might be to put in place various security nets whereby you can communicate and keep in touch, in the best way possible, with your family back home.
It's been said on here before, a PC, webcam and microphone go a long way towards easing the pain of separation. It may not seem anything like as comforting as being able to pop round to see someone in person, but does help a lot when you can relate to them in real time. I often curse the Internet and its dodgy connections, but it really does do the trick for many people in cases like this. You may well find that you can communicate with family members a lot more over the Net because they don't have to leave their homes to do it and you don't even have to make them a cup of coffee or tea
. If you then find they still don't make the effort, really, they wouldn't be worth the sacrifice you'd make if you'd decided to stay in the UK.
Emigrating from your home country can be quite a levelling experience and it's a great test of who should remain important in your life. Some will stick by you and keep in touch, but others may not. You find out who are the sincere ones and who are the ones that can carry on regardless without you being around. Wouldn't it be a shame to give up your plans, only to find out that certain people weren't worth it after all? If they really care then they'll keep closely in touch with you wherever you are in the world.
As for worrying about 'if something goes wrong' and you find you have to go back quickly, the best way around this is to make sure you have enough money put away for an emergency plane ticket. This sort of thing rarely happens, but, as we all know, in the worst case scenario, it can. As the odds are that it won't happen, again, it would be a pity to cancel your plans 'just in case'. 10 years on and maybe nothing has happened and you'd be kicking yourself for not having gone.
There's no getting away from the fact that it'll hurt, leaving everyone behind, if you have family and friends you are very close to. However, you have a lot to look forward to ahead of you and you need to concentrate on that. As they say 'You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs'. Many people naturally suffer from homesickness in the beginning but, as they settle into their new lives and form new and good relationships, it starts to fade. For a few, though, it sadly never fades and they feel they need to return home. It's best to recognise homesickness for what it is and take time to ride it through in the hope that you'll come out the other end having battled the storm and finally feeling 'at home' in NZ. There's no golden promise that you will overcome missing your family, but you won't know this until you try. Many others have done it before you and have come to thank their lucky stars that they did take that big step forward.
My advice, before you leave, would be to put as much in place as you can regarding keeping in touch with people. Maybe some would like to think of visiting you once you're settled or you can fix a time when you'd be able to return there for a visit. It'll give you something to look forward to and cling to while you're undergoing the 'grieving' process. Good luck and fingerscrossed all will be well in your new life. You've got a good start anyway with OH and friends already in NZ, so go for it! This is your big chance. No pain, no gain.
