Jeez Glenda! What a nightmare! But I am becoming less and less surprised about how many grown ups I come across that have never actually grown up. That must have been a terrible experience for you, I've heard of people doing extreme things but that is just off the scale! You did amazingly well to keep yourself and your family together through what must have been a harrrowing time. Thank God it's all in the past eh?
MB, I didn't mean to be rude and I understand perfectly what you're saying. I've even heard myself say quietly a time or two when I haven't known what else to say, 'You never know, we might not be gone that long.' But in my case I know that's not true because even if we don't settle in NZ there's no way we're coming back to the UK.
My dad died when I was 17, my mum has never remarried because my dad was her soul-mate, my sister's a drunk and my mum has her kids, my brothers (3) who all live within an hours drive of my mum never bother to come and see her, one of my brothers, the gay one and the only one who did spend time with her died 5 years ago after being beaten up by homophobic yobs. I am the only safe, strong, solid thing she has (believe it or not). And she still is able to smile at me and say that if I have the confidence to do this then she knows she has done her job right. I know she will miss us terribly, she has so much on her plate. Apart from all the heartache she has to deal with she isn't well and suffers with bad arthritis and a painful condition called fibra myalgia, she struggles to cope physically with the daily regime she sets herself but you will never find her sitting around. She is always out and about usually doing stuff for other pensioners who 'aren't as able as her'! 'Yeah right, my arse! But she has never once accused us of running out on her, of leaving her behind, abandoning her or not considering her. She just tells me to follow my dreams and I know that they are also her secret dreams.
There are so many different scenarios. Each and every person has their own hurt and each and every person has their own solution or not as the case may be. All we can do is be there the best we can, when we can. I don't know what else to say.
All these wonderful people on this forum, each with their own stories to tell and yet most days you'd think just by reading their posts that they are some of lifes lucky ones, dealt a better hand in life than most but that's just not true. Life is suffering but we learn to smile anyway.
