Quote:
Originally Posted by Bermy Girl
The last time I had a discussion with my brother about my plans to move I ended up in tears...hence the reaction to not discuss it with him anymore  |
Get angry, not tearful BG. If he sees he's affecting you in that way, he'll think he's winning. As long as this is going on he'll keep trying to wear you down. Perhaps tell him that you've got too much invested in NZ now that you can't back down, so he might as well get used to the idea.
Dangle the carrot that your move may not be forever, but it's something you must do to get it out of your system. Once you're there and they see how easy it is to keep in touch, some of the pain will leave them, I'm sure. Accuse him of using emotional blackmail and see what he comes up with. Just keep in mind that you are in the right and they're not. Never let guilt creep into your mind and eat away at you because you're not doing anything wrong.
I was always one to beat about the bush, but I've found, when something's really bothering or upsetting me, it's best to take a deep breath and grab the bull by the horns. Tell your brother you've come too far now and you're going, so he'd better get his head round it and leave it at that. No more discussion unless he has something constructive to add. If you go and find that your family refuses to communicate with you, what does that make them? Sounds like that would be a much worse 'crime' than your going to NZ and is a statement of what they really think of you if they're prepared to lose you like that. That last bit probably isn't quite true, but it wouldn't hurt to throw it into the debate.
Signed: Mother Bear - Forum psychologist
Moggy
They don't deserve you.