[Dawn]

In my ex-husbands case, he isn't opposed to the idea, well he is, he has actually told my daughter that if she goes she will cause the break up of his marriage!! But he knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on legally, but extraveniously he is saying that he won't prevent them from doing something they want to do.
My solicitor once told me that for a parent to have joint custody that means that everything is split 50/50? i.e. has the kids to sleep and share the household for half of the week, they have their own room and own possessions there, they pay for half of everything that the child needs or uses. My ex sees the kids once a fortnight, contributes very little financially, takes them on holiday for 4 days a year and tells them they should never bring their problems with them to his house. Is this shared custody? I do all of the parenting, all of the work, all of the spending, all of the listening, all of the putting things right when they come back from being at his, all of the explaining. all of the apologising for who he is and where he comes from.
He has accused me of not giving him enough info about where I am taking his children, I accuse him of not ever listening once when I have tried to explain to him how they feel. I have offered mediation as an alternative, he says that mediation is for psychos who are f'*&!'ed up!
Justnozi tell your partner to trust her gut instincts and to do what she thinks is right. As long as she explains to the kids what is going on and is completely honest with them they'll be cool.
Don't you just hate it when this shit happens? I really thought we'd never have to put our kids through this crap :(