Hi Helen, {big hug}

So sorry to hear you had a rough time working through NZ. It helps so much in a new country if you are enjoying yourself and working to the aim of settling down. I am pretty sure it is common for people who have lived here, even on a 'working holiday', to find themselves homesick for NZ.

Coming from a 'ping-pong pom' family, I can emphasise a bit with your sensation of being 'lost'. You will no doubt settle down to life back in the UK, and perhaps wonder wistfully about NZ now and again. Maybe you could use this opportunity to move to another area of the country to get that 'fresh start' you were considering on your NZ trip. You can then still be close to your family and have Europe nearby to explore. Of course, everyone's circumstances are different, but I would certainly do that if I decided to go back.

:)