OK - will make it more PC.....

This lady with "light to fair hair" wakes up with her house on fire and phones the fire brigade

FAIR HAIRED LADY---"Come quickly, my house is on fire...get round here now, quickly"

FIREMAN---"No problem madam...how do we get there?"


FAIR HAIRED LADY--- "DDDDUURRR, H-E-L-L-O!!! IN THE BIG RED TRUCK THING WITH THE LADDER ON THE TOP!!"