[MotherBear]

Not kiwi-speke unfortunately, just a few words to add to the dictionery.

1. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.

3. Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

4. Sarchasm (n) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.

5. Hipatitis (n) Terminal coolness.

6. Osteopornosis (n) A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

7. Karmageddon (n) It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

8. Decafalon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

9. Glibido (v) All talk and no action.

10. Dopeler effect (n) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

11. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

12. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. Oh boy, do I know this one?!

13. Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole