This one made me laugh........

Three couples all die at the same time & are stood at the gates of heaven.
God informs them of a change of policy (bit like NZ immigration really)
"You have to abstain from s** for two weeks, since you didnt all know this I will return you to earth & you can come back in two weeks". Off they all go.

Two weeks later, there all back at the pearly gates. God turns to the first couple, elderly & in their eighties.
"Did you abstain?" asked God
"Yes, what do you expect at our age" came the reply
"Your welcome in heaven" sais god & welcomed them

Turning to the second couple, who were middle aged God asks the same question.
"Yes, we did abstain - we argued so much we didnt feel like it anyway"
"Your welcome in heaven" said god & welcomed them

God asked the third couple - who were newly weds.
"Did you abstain?" asked God
"Well...err...I was doing well until after the first week when my wife reached down to the bottom shelf to get a tin of beans & I couldnt contain myself and i had her there & then............"

God replies "Well your not welcome in the Kingdom of Heaven"

"thats funny" said the young husband " were not welcome in our local Tescos now either"

Nick